Today is our first Monday of summer vacation. I’m a barrel of mixed feelings about school being out. I love having the kids home and the sound of stirring in the lego bin as they search for that perfect piece. We are making different education choices for next year and I am mourning the change. I’m not ready to talk about it publicly yet. Soon, I hope. For now, I want my friends to know we weren’t offended or upset in any way.
I’m still trying to figure out the whole summer vacation thing. In the past, I’ve written a summer bucket list and then had terrible Mommy guilt when I didn’t do much of it. Last year I made a list of things I wanted to do around Kansas City, one a week. We did 2 things, then adrenal fatigue had me mostly bed bound the rest of the summer.
I want to be a fun mom. I look at the pictures on facebook of families doing things together, like eating in a restaurant, going to the trampoline park, or in an extreme case, taking a girls’ trip to England….and I feel a little small inside. It’s dumb to compare, I know. But I do it anyway–it comes naturally.
I hope my kids tell their therapist that I really loved them. That they know I tried.
I need summer to be as restful as possible. School is hard. Teaching; spelling lists, math facts, reading charts, reports and posters, fund raisers, and things to sign x 5 nearly puts me under. Then we also have ballet class, soccer teams, basketball teams, violin lessons and piano lessons. Plus Zion’s League and YAChoir for the High School one; Zioneers for the Middle School ones; Young Adults for the parents; Priesthood classes, Gatekeeper training; and family visits for the Daddy who also helps lead the Trailblazers group….and takes the boys to Boy Scouts too. There’s Handmaidens and Lamplighters for the girls. The only night we can be home as a family is Wednesday night, and the church would prefer we come to prayer service instead. We don’t usually go. I have stay at home guilt on those nights, but if anyone walked a day in my shoes, they wouldn’t judge.
We’ve talked about limiting activities more. We haven’t come up with a perfect solution. The kids each have special needs that make a certain activity important for their development. The ones that aren’t crucial for congnitive and physical development are the church activities–and that feels kind of wrong to quit. So we stay with the crazy and ask ourselves often if we’re doing the right thing.
This summer I have no bucket list. The 4 oldest kids will each go to a summer camp. I will take the children to a family camp (we call it Reunion) while my husband stays back to earn money and hold down the fort. We are going tent camping in the Rocky Mountains at some point. And there’s a week of Bible School for the little ones. There will be a lot of time just at home though. If I can keep the screens off until 3pm, I will consider it a win, plus minimal fighting, and maybe cleaning once a month week.
Maybe we’ll air up the bike tires and send restless kids out into the neighborhood. And a summer membership to a local pool. That was a good thing last year. I have a few house projects I’d like to squeeze in, but I’m hoping to find lots of peaceful moments. Lots of peaceful moments.
My mediation:
Drop Thy still dews of quietness.
May all our strivings cease.
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess the beauty of Thy peace.
John Greenleaf Whittier
Hi Angela, I’m not sure what path you are planning on taking for school next year, but I have five kids and the oldest three started out in Christian school then we homeschooled for one year and then they went to public after that. It was a huge, hard decision to make but it turned out fine. The youngest two started in public school in Kindergarten and they have had great teachers and great friends. Sure there are things that I wish they weren’t exposed to but for the most part it’s been a good decision and I would do it again. I’ll be praying for you and your family 🙂
Thanks, Pam. That is comforting.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, Angela. As a mom of many myself (although at a slightly more sane stage of life), I know how heavy the exhaustion and guilt and comparisons can be. Blessings to you this evening, and in the days and weeks to come. May you and your precious ones have a healthy, sane and safe summer.
Thank you, Rachel! It’s nice to hear from someone who understands. It’s going to be a great summer.
Summer needs to be a change of pace. When you have a crazy year, a gentle and lazy summer is definitely a good thing! We homeschool and I have tried to make an effort to Stay Home more during the school year for several reasons. So, our change of pace will be to do lots of fun things. But no trips to London. 🙂 All local and cheap, except for our annual camping trip and a drive to a family reunion.
Hey lady,
Thanks for keeping it real. I’m a mom of one, but even though I can focus solely on one child, I still do the comparison thing and have plenty of mom guilt. I just want to say that you are enough and I think you’re doing a great job!
Thanks, Jenn
Hi, I was recently diagnosed by my chiropractor on having adrenal fatigue. How have you managed yours and do you sleep now? I am struggling with weight gain and fatigue and insomnia like crazy. My chiropractor put me on dessicated adrenal and that has helped tremendously. I was just wondering what you took during this time and what treatment helped you the most.
Hi Gina, I’m so glad you found a medical person who could help you. It’s definitely not something to navigate alone. I gained 20 pounds in just a few months and was exhausted all day, but couldn’t sleep at night. It took me awhile but I finally found a medical doctor familiar with the syndrome. She recommended 600-900 mg of phosphatidylserine with melatonin 30 minutes before bed. (I got mine from Swanson.) It drops cortisol production at night. Then DHEA in the morning to help relieve too low hormone levels during the day. With AF the cortisol levels can swing like crazy. My first test showed too high cortisol levels, then when I became bed bound, too low cortisol. I also had to clean up my eating quite a bit and give my digestive system a rest. Destressing the body through calm emotions, a more relaxed schedule, and simpler foods for digestion. It’s still a balancing act for me, since there are so many things outside my control. I also started using Melaleuca brand vitamins with oligo and gained a lot of energy from them. Plus I supplement with electrolyte sport beverages and Methylated B vitamins. While I was the most sick, I switched my exercise from weights and interval training to just walking in the neighborhood. Now, I’m starting slow going back to the weight and interval routine.
I think you’re a great mom. 🙂 That list of activities made me want to cry. So, just keeping up with that means that you ALL need a summer of rest. Maybe just don’t plan to do anything. Seriously.
Thanks, Stacy. On day 2 of doing nothing. It feels great!
I’ve decided to do a “bored list” instead of a “bucket list”. Anytime the kids are bored, we can do something off the list–typically something cheap at home that we typically don’t do: make rice Krispy treats, paint a flower pot, play with some leftover 4th of July sparklers, play in the sprinkler, etc. Whatever we do or don’t do is fine. It just helps me to have a list of things to do when the kids all get fussy and tired of all the same old games.