Giving Too Much

By Angela on December 3, 2013

Is there such a thing? . . . Maybe.

Christmas gifts
Giving is an important part of the Christmas season. It reminds us of God’s gift to us in His son. It’s a celebration of a birthday that forever changed the world. It helps us express our love and gratitude to those who have impacted our lives. I don’t want to get rid of it.

But giving too much to our children can make them unhappy.

For example, have you ever watched a 1 or 2 year old on his birthday? He opens one gift, and his eyes get wide. He wants it out of the box and to play, right now. But there are more gifts to open. Someone takes it from his hands and gives him another unopened package. It won’t be long before there are tears. He just wants to play!

christmas 024

Fast forward a few years. Now the boy is 9. There’s a huge stack of presents under the tree, all for him. He thinks in his mind, “It will take forever to open all of these.” I can’t wait! But it doesn’t take forever. Soon he’s sitting in a pile of wrapping paper and opened gifts and feels a strange feeling. Disappointment…loss. Aren’t there any more?

I noticed watching my own children that they appreciate more what they are given when they aren’t given too much.

If you’ve kept things small from the beginning, it’s much easier than to take it down a few hundred notches when the kid’s already have big expectations. But what if you are already there? The kids are expecting pirate loads of loot, and you are ready to simplify. What are some things you can do to make it as painless as possible?

Here’s a little brainstorm list I made one day of things that might help. It’s not meant for one family to do everything on the list. That would be overwhelming! But there might be something here that sparks an idea you know your kids will really respond to:

If you have older kids (age 5 or older) Gently tell them in advance that you are only buying X number of gifts this year. The earlier you tell them the better (it’s easier to take news like this when D day is far away.) And tell them why–you want to save money for their future, your home is too crowded with stuff, you want to spend more time being together than shopping…..What are your reasons? Children younger than 4 won’t need an explanation.
Get their input on ways that you can get the season back to what it should be. Let them express their feelings about simplifying.

Christ is born

Switch focus: From gifts to Jesus. Spend time in childlike worship– Start with a colorful story then add two of the following: coloring page, simple craft, game, music, or snack that reinforce the lesson. Make it fun and keep them a active. Then do gifts after. Or spend time during December preparing a gift the children can offer to Jesus for His birthday. It should be something that uses their talents like singing a song, playing an instrument, writing a poem, or making a piece of art. Then present the gifts in a small worship time on Christmas day.
Switch focus: From receiving to giving. Help the children buy gifts for each other or others in need. In our family we buy 2 or 3 gifts for our kids. Then they each buy one for each other, with their own money, that they earned all year by doing extra chores. I love it because I get one on one time with each one, and they learn what things really cost and that it takes hard work to get money. They can also choose an angel from the tree at church and buy a gift for a child their age in our community who otherwise would have nothing.
Switch focus to service: Volunteer as a family at a local shelter, soup kitchen, or community services center where children can give relief to those in need.
Switch focus to global need: Sponsor a child through World Vision. Or participate in the Operation Christmas Child program.
Prolong the gift opening, with a game like a treasure hunt: Use scriptures as clues to where you hid the next clue, and the next clue and eventually where they can find their gift. Or make them do something athletic to get the next clue, such as run up and down the stairs 5 times, or do 3 push-ups :). The sillier the better.

Have you found a way to keep things simple at your home? We’d love to hear about what works for you.

The Perfect Christmas

By Angela on December 2, 2013

I easily get caught up in wanting Christmas to be perfect and dreaming huge dreams for the short future. Dreams so huge that when the future speedily comes my way I flail and flounder and botch everything up.

In the past I’ve had lists of 25 activities that I want to do with the kids and thought I would make an advent garland of sorts where we could open each envelope and do that amazing thing. Something like this:

Only I never made (or bought) the garland…..and we never did a thing from my list.

Oh, we stayed busy all right. Just trying to manage all the rehearsals and activities that we get to be part of since we have an amazing school and a big church family. But all my dreams had dust on them.

I was trying to orchestrate the perfect Christmas and life was getting in my way.

It’s been going on for years and my children are growing older. I’m missing opportunities.

I contemplated not even decorating this year. That’s how bad my attitude got. I even had some of the kids convinced not to bother with the tree. But what they really wanted was to make me happy. To take some of the stress away, and if that meant no tree or manger scene–so be it.

And then I realized:

My opportunity to give them the perfect Christmas, is giving them a happy, peaceful Mother.

If I made an advent calendar with an envelope for each day, I could put in every one of them–

Today your mother will be happy. And sing songs, and not feel stressed.

And if we only managed that one thing. It would be the perfect Christmas.

So, Friday, I gave a thankful prayer for my awesome children and husband. And for the one room in our house that could appear untouched by the remodel. Then we carried out all the tools and boxes of flooring, dusted and swept, and rearranged the furniture. Then played some Christmas Carols, whirred up some simple eggnog in the blender (recipe coming Wednesday) and Decked the Halls.

Our home will never appear on the Blogland Tour of Homes. I’m ok with that this year. To let the kids take part in the placing of the decorations, even if it isn’t magazine worthy.

I found myself loosing my cool, once or twice. When the kids would move a piece of furniture in the place I didn’t have in mind. Or when I found a toy had crept it’s way back into the clean space. It’s a process, but I’m more aware now. I’m checking myself. Reminding myself to speak gently, to train through these times, and not bulldoze through. To not let something so small steal our joy.

This doesn’t mean that I can’t look at ideas on Pinterest or amazing blogs and think about adding one (but not 25) to my plans this season. But it does mean that I will ask myself why I’m doing something that makes me crazy and whether it will really bless my children’s memories when they are grown.

This Christmas is the Year of the Happy Mother

If you liked this post, you might also like: http://groceryshrink.com/2010/08/you-are-a-window.html

$400 a month to feed 8

By Angela on November 27, 2013

If you are new here, my food budget has been $500 a month for the last year. The year before that it was $450. And the year before that it was $400. I have 6 kids aged nearly 14 down to 2, stair-steps. Here, I’ll prove it:

Family sitting

When we were working Gazelle Intense to get out of debt (in 2005,) Our food budget was $185 for 5 of us. My 3 children were aged 4, 2, and 1. Once we were debt free, I budgeted $50 per person per month, no matter their age. I gave myself a $50 raise when I became pregnant with the next little person. Even though I didn’t eat double (I gained weight like I was eating double!) I used the extra money to buy a few more convenience items to compensate for being sick while pregnant.

(Oh and this budget is just food–not paper products, not pet items, not soap….)

Over the last 5 years (hmmm what happened 5 years ago? I can almost put my finger on it…..) food prices have steadily risen about 60% (The average inflation rate is 2.9% food is a commodity and effected differently than normal inflation.) What used to cost $1 is now $1.50 and sometimes $2. So raising my expectations from $50 per person per month to this new formula made sense.

Under the new recommendations my budget would be: $550–which is plenty for us without allowing me to be extravagant.

But with our recent financial crisis, I wondered if I could spend less. (Interesting to note that I‘m not the only one spending less, and Americans in general spend less on food than most developed countries.)

So this month we dropped our budget down to $400 again. Oh, if you had heard my heart whine about this when I was at the store, we would both be embarrassed. Case in point:

Source

“Excuse me, Miss. Come with me. I want you to live in a big house that has no finished floors, or a working kitchen. The bathrooms don’t have doors, some don’t have walls. But it’s clean(ish), and dry, and warm. You’ll work 4 mini-jobs and your husband one big one. (Oh, yes. We found him. He’s alive.) There will be enough money there for you to pay your bills, but not more. And here’s $400 cash–you’ll get it each month. Use it to buy food for your 6 children (Yes, they are all safe too.)”

Do you think she would feel sorry for herself? Me either. It puts it all into perspective for me.

So here it is, November 27th–only 4 days left in the month. And I’m looking in my envelope to see what I have left….drumroll….$100 and some change! We have bread, we have milk. We have a decent pantry. I don’t need to spend again until December. We are soooo blessed!

I did a terrible job keeping track of my receipts this month and can only find $103.60 of what I spent to document for you. I went to Aldi twice, Dirty Don’s twice, the Bread Outlet once, McDonalds once (I know…just being real), Dollar Tree twice, Walmart 3 times. I meant to go to Costco, but never made it there (Hmm think we discovered why I still have $100 :)) Some big purchases included a $9 spiral cut ham from Aldi (Which fed us for 3 meals and made us feel like kings.) I also spent $10 of the money to buy food related Christmas gifts for DH’s stocking and $15 to buy treats for school and our family worship gathering.

I’m planning on a grocery receipt envelope in my purse for December so I can do a better job documenting what we spend. Which will be likely to guarantee that I do a terrible job with my food shopping that month–but hey, we’re all real people, right?

There were a few meals that we didn’t have to cook: There was a Thanksgiving potluck at church and my mom brought extra so we could come empty handed; my niece’s birthday dinner; a date night we used a gift card for and friends served babysat our kids and fed them pizza. One night my Mom brought over Enchiladas; and one Saturday we worked at her place all day and she fixed us breakfast and lunch. She is hosting Thanksgiving for us, and when I asked what I could bring, she said “A lettuce salad.” That has eased our spending quite a bit. Starting to see how awesome my mom is, again.

I’m putting the extra money in a secret stash. I will use it to stock up on good food deals when I spot one.

When I write about what we spend each month, it raises a few eyebrows. I think anyone could do what we do. It gets tricky for those determined to be vegans, or gluten free (and buy a lot of prepackaged gluten free stuff), or refuse to eat anything not labeled organic, and those who follow every new “healthy” trend out there. But I don’t recommend anyone slash their grocery budget in half the first month and expect things to go well. Here’s a better way to get started.

Turning a Corner

By Angela on November 26, 2013

I think I’ve had a midlife crisis of sorts. And then I think, wait—You’re not that old. And then I realize that if I double my life I’d be 74…..I’m that old?! But it’s not really about me. It’s about Heidi, who will be turning 14 in a few weeks. 14!

Copy of Heidi

Have you seen her? She’s adult sized. And Beautiful. (And hates it when I write about her on my blog.) In 4 years she’ll be ready for college. Sniff. Do you remember what you were doing 4 years ago? It feels like yesterday to me.

I want to arrest time and take it prisoner. But it evades me like a cat burglar in the night.

These precious moments with all my children in my home, are fleeting. More precious than gold and will become as rare one day soon. And so I’ve lain awake pondering what they will remember as adults. (What they will tell their therapists.) What will they remember about their mother. What habits they will take from me into their adult homes.

Reading a friend’s blog recently, my heart was convicted that I needed to change.

So I’m awake this morning, 2 hours earlier than my body tells me is decent and good. Hoping that a habit will form and I can push the clock a little further. So that these wee quiet hours will become work to me, and the day will become family. So my children will remember a mother who reads stories, and keeps a clean enough house, and tries some of what she pins on pinterest. Especially the things that involve them.

It’s day 2, so I can’t claim victory over slothfulness. Or tell you how my body will respond, or promise it’s a permanent change. This morning, I rebelled at the sound of the alarm and tried to go back to sleep. But all I could think about was my grown beautiful girl and the stair steps coming behind her. And how they need me more than ever right now–and I need them. And I got up and stumbled to the kitchen, made a giant cup of Hot Chocolate and found peace in the morning. There’s something about the morning that I had forgotten: God is there.

Caleb Cooks

By Angela on November 20, 2013

He’s all that and dimples too. But he’s mine. I’m not giving him up for a while yet.

It was Sunday after church. Daddy was gone to preach in South Missouri and took a sister and a brother with him. Another brother went home with a friend.

That left only 4 for Sunday lunch. Hardly enough to break a sweat over. “Let’s just have cold cuts,” Heidi offered. “We can save the spiral cut ham for when the whole family is together.”

“Or,” Caleb said, “That bread with the egg in the middle.”

“Huh? You mean Toad in the Hole?”

“Yes, that’s the one.” I love that the kids aren’t discombobulated about our remodel nightmare. They just jumped right in and took charge of fixing the meal. Then stuck with me until all the dishes were washed, dried and put away.

Toad in the Hole

Ingredients

4 slices of bread
4 eggs
4 tsp butter

Instructions

Butter bread, then use a glass or biscuit cutter to cut a hole out of the center.
Preheat griddle or frying pan to 350 degrees.
Place bread buttered side down on the pan, then bread an egg in the center.
Cook for about 3 minutes or until egg is partially set. Flip and cook the other side.
Cook until yolks are thick but still soft. About 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

http://www.groceryshrink.com/caleb-cooks/

A few big holes

By Angela on November 19, 2013

Our pier work started yesterday. Ever had a jackhammer in your house? It was a new one for me. It’s kind of LOUD.

This is a corner of the basement on the side that holds Darren’s office. The other side holds our workout room. This side has always been gross.

Case in point. I have dreams about this space. But it’s at the bottom of our list. A working kitchen and bathroom on the main floor are at the top. The fireplace from the first picture is behind the tarp. The tarp is there because they are about to break up the concrete floor in our house and dig into the dirt below. The fireplace is 4 stories tall, and will take a small army of piers to support just it.

I was surprised how thin the concrete in the basement floor is. 2 inches and then dirt. The concrete under the fireplace is thicker. The worker was surprised how little rebar was in our floor. I was afraid to ask how bad that was.

I took his picture without asking. Then said, “Now you will be on my blog.” Too bad it’s blurry, it was going to be a great shot. It was hard to get the workers to be still long enough to get a blog worthy picture :P.

This is serious hard work.

Next I stepped outside to check on the progress there. These holes are deep enough to hide a grown man. I thought the holes were empty. So gave a little scream when a man popped up out of one.

This photo gives a feeling for the size of this house and how much weight the piers are going to lift. It’s a half story taller on the back side.

It’s pretty fascinating for the kids.

There weren’t any workers on the back of the house, so the kids all wanted to get down in a hole. I wasn’t sure I liked the idea. But then I thought about how much this was costing us and thought, why not? Live it up, lol.

I love this picture of the brothers 🙂

Heather was next.

She was like, “Oh gross–It’s DIRT!” I’m not sure what she was expecting.

A little reassurance from her Daddy, then she got over it.

That’s my pretty girl!

A little Christmas Sewing

By Angela on November 15, 2013

They are starting work on our foundation on Monday. It’s exciting and scary all at once. I’m taking pictures of this project for sure and will have a future post to help if you find yourself in a similar situation.

In the meantime I’m going full steam into Christmas sewing. These are the inspiration photos that I’m working from: (Please note I’ve linked the photos to the direct source. You can click them to get more information. And this first one is a very affordable sewing pattern.)

I’m making two of these Sweet houses for my nieces (two families.) My one rule is to use only what I have on hand, except I did buy PVC pipe for leg extenders. It was about $4 a table. The rest is stash. I’m also making mine look more like cottage houses without all the sugar stuff–just because my stash fabrics are more conducive to that. But I do love this look.

Brandon wants a card table tent too. He’s mentioned: a pizza parlor, clubhouse, army barracks, store. I’m starting on his last. I’ll looked through my stash fabrics and will make them determine the final design :). This adorable pizza parlor is available for sale on Etsy. And after you click over and check out the price, you’ll never feel ashamed to give a similar homemade gift made from stash fabrics. But the price is not too high when you consider how many hours went into this piece of art.

This adorable folding car wallet is also from Etsy. This one has sold, but the seller is open to making things custom for you. Grant would love this. He has a backpack that he wears all the time. It’s usually empty, but it would be awesome to fill it with travel items to play with while I teach school. (I love being able to take my baby to work with me nearly every day!) I have everything needed to make this in stash all ready :).

Here are other things I’d love to make, if time allows:

Also from Etsy. Click photo to see the details.

From One Hook Wonders. Click photo for details.

I’m also saving up more Swagbucks gift cards to buy some lego sets for the older boys. Speaking of Swagbucks, the giveaway is still going on all month. Be sure to use the code when you sign up.

Are you sewing anything this year?

Coconut Crepes with Blueberries

By Angela on November 12, 2013

Oh, my. That’s all I could say after one bite of these.

You will never believe they are dairy free, sugar, free, and gluten free, and pack a decent punch of protein. Usually you have to follow up a list like that with “taste free.” Oh, not these. Oh did I say fast? They are fast to make and easy.

If you are a Trim Healthy Mama these are an S. If you are a Fit Yummy Mummy, these are supportive. Very.

I don’t have a stove right now, or much of a kitchen. If you are a new blog reader, click on the “kitchen remodel” tag on the right and catch up with our drama.

It’s hard to make crepes without a little non-stick pan and a stove. But I’ve just proven it can be done…..in the microwave.

Oh don’t throw things. Usually microwaved food is gross and some of you are convinced it’s poison. (I’m aware.) But a girl’s gotta do what she can to survive.

This is survival food? Really?

Coconut Whipped Cream

First you are going to make your coconut whipped cream. Refrigerate a can of full fat coconut milk overnight. (I just store mine in the fridge straight from the store so I’m always ready.) Open the can and carefully pour off the coconut water into a measuring cup, and scoop the thick cream into your electric mixing bowl.

Add a few dashes of nunaturals pure stevia extract or a few drops of liquid stevia sweetener. And a tsp of vanilla extra. Beat for 5-7 minutes or until peaks form. I scooped mine into an old cool whip tub (Shhh–I know, but I don’t buy it anymore--as of today.) Then chill until ready to use. Heat will make the whipped cream deteriorate so keep it cold. Once you taste this stuff you are going to want to eat the entire batch with a spoon right then. Let me just warn you that it has about 500 calories in the whole bowl–so save half for later.

Coconut Crepes

Next mix up your crepe batter: You’ll need 3 eggs, 1/2 cup milk (Use the coconut water that you drained off the cream and add enough almond milk to make up the difference.); and 2 Tbs of coconut flour. That’s it! Beat it all together and press out any lumps with your fingers. Make it smooth. A blender works even better.

Place a scant 1/3 cup of batter onto a large well-greased plate and microwave on high for 90 seconds. Boom.

Gently loosen it from the plate with a thin silicone spatula. And flip it over (the ugly side is on the bottom.) Let it cool a bit then top with whipped coconut cream and 1 cup of blueberries. Fresh are awesome, but previously frozen (now thawed) are good too.) Wrap up so the pretty side shows.

Add FULL FAT canned coconut milk to your shopping list right now. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Dirty Don’s had some last week for $.75 a can. I’m kicking myself. I’m going to go back and see if they still have it, because someone ate all my cream.

Coconut Crepes with Blueberries

Ingredients

1 can full fat coconut milk, chilled
A dash of Nunaturals pure stevia extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 lb blueberries
3 eggs
1/2 cup milk (coconut or almond)
2 Tbs coconut flour

Instructions

Drain off coconut water and place coconut cream in an electric mixing bowl. Beat in stevia and vanilla and then beat for 5-7 minutes or until peaks form. Chill.
Meanwhile, blend together 3 eggs, 1/2 cup milk (use reserved coconut water for part of the milk) and 2 Tbs coconut flour until very smooth.
Cook either in a crepe pan, or pour a scant 1/3 cup of batter onto a greased plate. Microwave on high for 90 seconds.
Loosen crepe from plate and flip over so the ugly side is up. Fill with coconut whipped cream and bleuberries. Fold crepe over and enjoy right away.

http://www.groceryshrink.com/coconut-crepes-with-blueberries/

This post was inspired by the blueberry contest. I was not compensated to write the post, I just really hope to win one of the prizes :). For more blueberry inspiration go here.

Coconut Blueberry Muffin in A Mug

By Angela on November 11, 2013

It’s about time for a recipe around here. And there’s nothing like a contest with a $2000 prize to motivate a little cooking :). We sure could use the money on our kitchen project, but the lack of a kitchen makes testing recipes more of a challenge. Ah, who doesn’t like a challenge?

I was hungry for a healthy snack this week while working on the menus. As part of my job, I look at hundreds of pictures of food. And it makes me hungry. Even if I’m stuffed, 5 minutes of looking at gorgeous yummy pictures will convince me that I’m starving.

This little muffin filled me up and let me focus on working and had a nice healthy nutritional profile as a bonus.

With blueberries as the main ingredient, it’s full of antioxidants. It’s also dairy free, gluten free, sugar free and low carb. Has a good amount of protein. And is ready in just 2 minutes. Are you in love yet?

Coconut Blueberry Muffin in A Mug

Ingredients

1 Tbs Coconut Flour
2 Tbs Almond Flour
1 Tbs Coconut flakes (opt.)
Dash of pure stevia extract (like nunaturals) or 2 packets of truvia
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp coconut oil (up to 1 Tbs)
2-3 Tbs milk or water
1/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

Instructions

Combine everything in a large greased coffee mug, stirring in the blueberries last.
Microwave on high for 2 minutes, or just until the center is set. Do not over cook.
Serve with a dollop of coconut whipped cream or cream cheese frosting.

http://www.groceryshrink.com/coconut-blueberry-muffin-in-a-mug/

P.S. Today is the last day to use your 50% off coupon for Freezer Week and Mix Week

Giveaway Contest: Your chance to win a $50 gift card

By Angela on November 9, 2013

Swag Bucks is so excited about so many new subscribers from Grocery Shrink Readers that they are holding a contest for you.

First they are extending the code for new subscribers for the duration of the contest: use GroShrink when you sign up (click “I have a code” on the sign up page and get an extra 70 Swag Bucks!

The best news is that even if you’ve been a Swag Bucks member for years (and signed up from a link here), you can still win!

Here’s how it works: From last Friday, November 8th, until December 8th 2013, everyone who earns at least 50 swag bucks on their account (personally earn, not matching points from referrals) is entered for the drawing. There’s nothing else special you have to do. Sign-up, search the internet when you need to, using the swag buck’s engine, and earn points! Swag Bucks will email notify the winner after the contest ends.

Leave a comment and tell what you would spend an extra $50 on–just for giggles. I would use it towards something to organize my kitchen–like a pop-up mixer shelf.