I’m going to warn you up front that this story may have more detail than you’d like to read. But I hope my experience helps someone else who has a childbirth outside her hopes and plans.
I was due with Grant on April 18th and all my measurements were on target with that date. I gained a whopping 50lbs with this pregnancy and a good percentage of that was in the last 6 weeks. I lost my mucus plug at 35 weeks was 50% effaced and started to dialate a little. I continued to experience long periods of contractions from that time forward that would eventually stop without helping to progress labor any. At 41 weeks I was exhausted from being up at night with contractions, yet hadn’t dialted or effaced any more for all the work. 5 of my 6 babies had been induced by AROM near 42 weeks, mainly because I have so much amniotic fluid that it prevents the contractions from putting pressure on the cervix.
The day before my 41st week appointment, I felt Grant move in a big way and then all the kicking was down low instead of high like the rest of my pregnancy. I was afraid that he had turned breech and was upset with myself for not letting the midwife induce me earlier when he was positioned correctly. But at my appointment she felt that he was head down and I didn’t worry as much. I decided to schedule the induction for the next day. Normally my inductions only require AROM (arificial rupture of membranes) which removes the pocket of water and allows my contractions to be effective.
This time my midwife wasn’t sure this would be enough. She started talking about pitocin and cervidil, two drugs I’d never used before. I was anxious about it, becuase I wanted a natural delivery. I wasn’t confident I would be able to deliver without pain medication if they administered pitocin.
Darren took me to dinner at Smokehouse Bar-B-Q, the same restaurant he took me to the day I found out we were expecting Heidi, our first. We went to the hospital from the restaurant to start cervidil to help the cervix ripen. They offered me a sleeping pill since this process can start early labor which would keep me up all night, but I didn’t take it for fear that it would make the baby sleepy too.
I was up all night listening to the heart monitor for the baby. Grant’s heartbeat seemed to be unusually slow and would slow even more during a contraction. The nurses would run in and out during the night messing with the monitor to make sure it was reading correctly. Finally they rolled me to my right side instead of the customary left and Grant’s heartbeat came closer to normal. The cord and placenta were on the left side and when I lay that way it reduced his oxygen supply.
During that long night, I tested the idea that I might not be bringing a baby home with me. My own blood pressure was taken every 15 minutes or so and hovered around 90/50 which is low even for me. I was afraid to go to sleep, wondering if I would be able to wake up.
In the morning, they broke my water and instead of Grant’s head moving down into position, it floated up and away. The midwife kept her fingers in place to prevent the cord from prolapsing down while the labor nurse pushed on my stomach to force Grant’s head down. When they were satisfied, they got me up to walk around. My contractions started coming stronger, but not strong enough and at several points I leaned against the wall to cry. Something was wrong…I could feel it.
After an hour, they brought me back to the room for fetal monitoring and to check my progress. When the labor nurse checked the cervix and for Grant’s head, she felt something else…a foot. Grant had positioned himself sideways in the womb to make more room for his foot by his ear, which explains why all the kicking was down low. This took the pressure off the cervix again and made the contractions ineffective.
We called for the elder’s from our church as described in James 5:14 to annoint with oil and pray for a healing. Meanwhile the nurse tickled Grant’s foot on the inside while pressing on the outside to encourage him to pull his foot back. This was most effectively done during a contraction which was very painful. She suggested we try pitocin to make my contractions stronger which might make him uncomfortable enough to pull his foot back and straighten out in the womb.
This was the beginning of my biggest fear. Pitocin, leading to an epidural, leading to an ineffective labor and infant in distress, leading to a c-section. But without trying all options, I was headed to a c-section any way. I gave the okay to start the pitocin and the elder’s came to pray. After they left, the nurse suggested I get on all fours and lay my head down on the bed. She thought the change in gravity might inspire Grant to move. This was a very uncomfortable way to labor, but after a few minutes I felt a huge movment in my womb.
The nurse went to check my cervix again and when she inserted her fingers, he grabbed one of them with his fist. He certainly had moved, just not in the way we had hoped. I knew they would need to try manually adjusting his position again and the dread and fear of the pain made me wish for a c-section just to make it all end.
Then I thought about the epidural. It would be better to have that in place already if we needed an emergency c-section. Without it they would have to use a general anesthetic, admit me to the main portion of the hospital for recovery, Darren wouldn’t be allowed to join me for the surgery, and I would need to pump and dump my milk until the drugs were out of my system. I started to ask questions about the epidural. I found out that it doesn’t cross the placenta, it could cause my blood pressure to drop even lower (a concern that they would monitor closely), and that I would no longer be able to move about (a relief.) I told her to request the anesthesiologist and then I cried.
I had to mourn the loss of the perfect labor I had dreamed about. And relieve some of the stress of wondering if Grant and I would be okay. It’s amazing what good a little cry can do to lift the spirits and bring on new resolve. I knew God was with me and I tried not to think about the judgements of family who would not understand or approve of the medical choices I was making.
The epidural brought instant relief, both from pain and from anxiety. The nausea went away. I was able to think clearly and communicate with the medical staff. I was instantly ready to face another labor and delivery if God chose to bless us with another child.
I was nearly completely dialated at this point and Grant was still in a bad position. The midwife decided to try one more thing. She put on a long veterinary glove and reached her entire hand into my womb. She was able with one hand to straighten out Grant’s arms and legs, pulling them back into position. The labor nurse then pressed on the outside of my stomach to engage his head into the pelvis, hopefully locking him into place. I couldn’t feel anything this time except for a little pressure. It worked! Grant’s heart rate improved, and they tucked me into bed for a nap. I had been awake for nearly 30 hours by this time and had nothing to eat for a night and day.
After a little rest, Grant was born in just a few minutes. Pushing was different with an epidural. I had to concentrate to discern what was just pressure from Grant being so low and what was a true contraction. When he was born, he was bluish purple and did not breathe without an oxygen mask and help from the nurses. I did not feel strong enough to hold him, and was ready to give his care over to my husband and the nurses. After getting a good meal and nursing him for a few hours those feelings totally changed and I didn’t want to put him down. I’m so thankful for the love of God that allowed me to endure the hard labor and that ultimately brought forth life.
Beautiful story — brings me tears — SO happy for you — I know the decisions are SOOOO hard; Jessi and Sarah had similar decisions to make — away from their ‘perfect” delivery — but God blessed them, and I believe you also, to make those decisions at the right time.
Beautiful family!! God bless!!
Diane
None of my 4 pregnancies have ended the way I would have chosen … except leaving the hospital with a small baby more than made up for the loss of the dream.
Please allow yourself to grieve what you lost. It took me some time to figure that one out!
Congrats on Grant. He’s gorgeous.
M
What a great story. Thank you for sharing. We get so hung up on everything being perfect, it hard on us. You did good momma! Not an ugly one in the bunch yet!
What a blessing–you can always put a GPS in the first car he drives to help his sense of direction later in life! 🙂 Great job holding strong and bringing new life and love to this crazy world!
Love,
Carrie
Carrie, That’s hilarious. We thought he might grow up and join the circus with his amazing flexibility, lol. But I definitely need GPS myself :).
So glad you and Grant made it through. Makes my crazy labors sound like a walk in the park.
Glad you were able to have him without a C-section. He is beautiful! Enjoy your babymoon!
Angela,
This sounds so much like my first labor! After 17 hours Cole was in distress and they gave me the option of an epidural or c-section…the choice was easy! I always try to remember the goal of labor and delivery is a healthy mom and healthy baby, even if it isn’t the way we planned:).
Angela,
Thanks for sharing your story. I am due w/ our 7th this August and have had all my natural. I have a huge fear of epidurals and the negative effects they can have. I get horrible anxiety during my pregnancy over labor and it was nice for me to hear you were able to have a safe delivery w/ an epidural even though it wasn’t your first choice. Your baby boy is beautiful and makes me excited to hold our little boy in a short few months.
What a beautiful baby and a beautiful story! I never got to experience natural birth- though that was my dream. All three of my biological children had to be born through c-section. My first baby was breech and would not turn (love the GPS comment!), my second began much the same way you describe, but his heart rate did not come back up and then completely stopped with the contractions. I did not get a choice at all with my third. The true goal at the end of any birth story is getting to take a healthy baby home. They are each a blessing, no matter how they came into this world! 🙂
Congrats! You and Grant made it through. I love that you called the church elders to pray over you and the delivery. It truly makes a difference.
Wow…thank you for sharing. What an incredible journey you were on…isn’t it great to know that God never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Praising God with you and your family.
Congrats! Thank you for sharing. I’m due with our second in August. No matter how many birth books you read, each birth is unique. Thank you for reminding me that it might not go as planned and also for encouraging me with your strength and perserverance. Your children (and you!) are all gorgeous! P.s. we have the same monkey outfit to bring our baby boy home in!
Angela, I don’t know how you made it through all that! My worst experience was with my 3rd, his head was turned sideways so it wasn’t applied, making contractions ineffective…..I was stuck at a 9 for a couple hours, and labor had started the day before…..I was crying, weak, shaky and fearful of what would happen since I didn’t have the strength to go on or get into a more comfortable position. I finally–out of desperation– agreed to let my dr. rupture the membranes, which he had suggested from the beginning, only I didn’t want anything “unnatural”…..baby was born in about 8 minutes! I wished I’d done it sooner! Through that experience I was able to understand that epidurals certainly have their place, even though I didn’t have one. So glad you had a good outcome and you didn’t have to have a section….what a blessing.
He and Sammy both take after their Momma’s–GPS for both! I remember getting turned around in KC and ending up on the Paseo together in High School–if only such technology was around then! I hope you’re recovering well. Sam & David will have to meet Grant sometime soon!
Congratulations Andrea! It sounds as though you had wise midwives who tried a lot of different things to get that little guy to move. Praise the Lord you are both safe and sound!
Jill Farris
Angela,
Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy Grant! He’s so precious and adorable. I know it’s difficult to make decisions that you’d rather not have to worry about; good job being practical and flexible. It’s stressful, too, when family and friends don’t understand. Be encouraged that you made the best decision for you and Grant, and that’s all that matters. I had to change my plans a lot with our fourth and most recent baby, and I didn’t like it. But, it was much better for both me and the baby in the end, and I would make the same decisions again if necessary. Thanks for sharing your story.
Congratulations Angela and family! We are expecting our 2nd in July. I am happy to live in a place and time where there are so many ways to help babies and mothers in childbirth. You have a beautiful family.
Loved your story…I had taken my 3 wonderful deliveries for granted, and when our 4th child’s heartbeat was too fast, the midwife was slightly concered. Like you, I had delivered natural without an epideral until I was on my knees on all fours trying to help our baby’s heartbeat return to normal. I felt like I had gotton wimpy and could stand the pain no more. They had always broken my water with the other 3, but when I was dialated to a 5 with this pregnancy, there was no water to brake! How on baby #4 does that happen? There must have been a slow leek, and our new baby was exposed to Strep B and had aspirated muconium during delivery…he was 9 lbs 4 oz, but was ashen in color. My dad administered to him as he was put in an oxygen crib. He was ashen color and would not nurse or cry much. A couple hours later, they intibated him and shipped him up to children’s mercy with Eric riding in the ambulance and my sister in law driving me up behind him….I too was wondering if I would come home with a baby at all, crying and praying, trying to remember that God’s will needed to be done. Our baby was there 11 days with an infection in his lungs. I could not touch or hold him for the first couple of days. The only thing I could do was pump milk, talk to him by his bedside, and pray…it didn’t feel like I was a new mom again until the nurses put his name upon the wall over his crib on a dinosaur. NEPHI was here and very real! His name was the topic of conversation many times and I was able to do a little witnessing while there. God did allow him to live and he is a very curly, blond haired boy running around getting ready to celebrate his 3rd birthday. I still believe natural is the way to go if at all possible, but if medical intervention was not used, Nephi would not be here today!
I had no idea you had so much trouble this time… I am so thankful that you and he made it through the whole ordeal… no matter what you had to do to make it happen… He is beautiful! You did a really great job getting him here! Congratulations again! 🙂
I’m so happy for you that you decided to go for the epidural and that they were able to get him positioned correctly. I had to have epis with both of my deliveries and I can’t imagine not having them. I have no pain threshold at all so I would have passed out from the pain of the contractions alone. He’s adorable by the way! Congratulations to you and your family!
What a touching story! It’s amazing what we can endure with God’s help. I just had my third baby and had to be induced at the hospital (the others were home births). Definitely not fun! But 6 hours was enough for me; I couldn’t imagine 30 hours — bless your heart! Congratulations on your new little one. He is TRULY a blessing from the Lord!! 🙂