Birthdays were a big deal when I was growing up.  My mom was frugal but super creative.  I had a friend party every other year with traditional games like pinata and pop the balloon that’s tied to your friend’s ankle.  One year we turned the whole house into a giant spider web with colored yarn.  Each guest had to wind up their own string and at the end was a small prize.  This game not only decorated the house for the party, but it naturally cleaned itself up as we played :).  Mom always baked the cake and decorated it at home.  Since computers weren’t a household item and the guy who invented Pinterest was probably still eating paste, we got our inspiration from library books.

The years I didn’t have a friend party, we invited over grandparents for dinner, cake and presents.  Mom did her best to make those times special too.  One year she put a clue inside each balloon.  I had to pop the balloons, read the clues and use them to find my presents.   As fun as these parties were they were a far cry from the super stylized Pinterest parties of today.  I thought they were pretty special anyway.

When I became a mom I wanted my kids to have special birthdays too.  Life for me was a little more overwhelming since I’ve been pregnant, nursing or chasing toddlers (or all of the above) for the last 16 years.  We decided that with the size of our family we would limit friend parties to monumental ages:  5 (starting school), 8 (age for baptism), 10 (double digits!), 13 (now you’re a teenager), and 16 (Driving a car).  We would still celebrate the other years, but as a family in stress free ways.

Tomorrow I’m going to show you how I budget for birthdays and some ways we save on games, decorations and party favors.  Today, I want the takeaway to be:  Plan the party for the kids and don’t worry about impressing adults or making it Pinterest perfect.
Keep it low stress and try to let the kids help with stuff even if it won’t be perfect.  I know letting the kids help and keeping it low stress can be opposites.  Take a deep breath and try to go with it.

It’s all about the memories, building their sense of worth, and showing them that you’re GLAD you get to celebrate with them.  You don’t want to loose the child in all of the preparations and end up making them feel like a burden instead of a blessing.

Here are my less than perfect cupcakes from our Nerf party this past Saturday.  I was embarrased about how ugly they turned out.  Not one child even blinked.  I jokingly said, “What do you think the cupcakes are supposed to be?”  They didn’t laugh or make fun of my poor decorating job, several matter-of-factly said, “Targets.”  Delicious targets that they devoured in 5 seconds and asked for more.  I’m so glad I went with green—they almost look like something else, but no sweet little boy mind even went there.  The funny thing is, I did them myself.  Brandon asked to help and I didn’t let him.  He couldn’t have made them worse; I should have let him help.

If things turn out badly, everyone will assume you let the kids help.   So let them help–it’s a great reason for things to be wonky. Sometimes it turns out pretty good and the kids feel ownership about the party.

I love Pinterest and use it heavily for inspiration but I no longer try to recreate a magazine spread all by myself for kids who just want to eat sugar and play games.   That means my kids get a calm and happy mama to host their birthday party.  Who doesn’t want that?

This is Day 26 of our series 31 Days of Kids and Money