I’m about to reveal the single thing that has been the most effective obedience training in our family. It’s fun for everyone and you only need one supply–tiny treats. Our favorite is Reeces Pieces, but mini marshmallows, MM’s, fruit snacks, or yogurt covered raisins would also do the trick. The only rule is that the treat has to be something that your children absolutely love. This is not the time to get all worried about nutrition.

Here’s how to play:  Line all your children up, sitting on the couch.  If you have a baby or toddler too small to play, have Mother sit with the children and hold the baby.  Dad calls out a child’s name and gives them a command.  It can be something silly, or a small chore.  We often get our house picked up at night playing this game. 

An example of a silly command is, “Heidi, go put your nose on the front door.”  An example of a chore command is, “Warren, go pick up 3 books in your room and put them on the shelf.”  If the children pop up immediately and say, “Yes, Sir” and cheerfully complete their command, they get a treat.   If the children pop up to obey right away and forget, “Yes, Sir.”  Then we cheerfully sit them back down to try again next time.  (Similar to Mother May I.)  Dad gives Mother a command for the baby and she pops up with a cheerful, “Yes, Sir” and helps the baby do it.  As he grows baby learns to say “Yes Sir,” and play right along.  “Yes, Sir.” is the first phrase I remember Brandon saying as an infant.

Play the game for about 30 minutes, giving each child several turns.  Be sure to stop the game while everyone is still having fun and they will be excited to play again the next time.

Mother can play the game with the children when Dad isn’t home, and I highly recommend it.  The game should be played 3 nights in a row, and then space it out to every other night, then every 3 nights.  Eventually playing it once a week or twice a month will be enough to keep the children on their obedient toes.

This is basic behavior modification training, but it helps our children so much.  It works by changing the chemical reactions in the brain to make being obedient pleasureable for them.  You can keep this positive chemical reaction going all the time by giving lots of praise when a child remembers to say, “Yes, Sir” and obey right away even when you aren’t playing the game.  This moves the child’s need for extrinsic (outside of themselves) rewards to intrinsic rewards (the good feeling that comes from doing the right thing.)  My dream for my children is to raise them to do the right thing, even when no one is looking :).