I easily get caught up in wanting Christmas to be perfect and dreaming huge dreams for the short future. Dreams so huge that when the future speedily comes my way I flail and flounder and botch everything up.
In the past I’ve had lists of 25 activities that I want to do with the kids and thought I would make an advent garland of sorts where we could open each envelope and do that amazing thing. Something like this:
Only I never made (or bought) the garland…..and we never did a thing from my list.
Oh, we stayed busy all right. Just trying to manage all the rehearsals and activities that we get to be part of since we have an amazing school and a big church family. But all my dreams had dust on them.
I was trying to orchestrate the perfect Christmas and life was getting in my way.
It’s been going on for years and my children are growing older. I’m missing opportunities.
I contemplated not even decorating this year. That’s how bad my attitude got. I even had some of the kids convinced not to bother with the tree. But what they really wanted was to make me happy. To take some of the stress away, and if that meant no tree or manger scene–so be it.
And then I realized:
My opportunity to give them the perfect Christmas, is giving them a happy, peaceful Mother.
If I made an advent calendar with an envelope for each day, I could put in every one of them–
Today your mother will be happy. And sing songs, and not feel stressed.
And if we only managed that one thing. It would be the perfect Christmas.
So, Friday, I gave a thankful prayer for my awesome children and husband. And for the one room in our house that could appear untouched by the remodel. Then we carried out all the tools and boxes of flooring, dusted and swept, and rearranged the furniture. Then played some Christmas Carols, whirred up some simple eggnog in the blender (recipe coming Wednesday) and Decked the Halls.
Our home will never appear on the Blogland Tour of Homes. I’m ok with that this year. To let the kids take part in the placing of the decorations, even if it isn’t magazine worthy.
I found myself loosing my cool, once or twice. When the kids would move a piece of furniture in the place I didn’t have in mind. Or when I found a toy had crept it’s way back into the clean space. It’s a process, but I’m more aware now. I’m checking myself. Reminding myself to speak gently, to train through these times, and not bulldoze through. To not let something so small steal our joy.
This doesn’t mean that I can’t look at ideas on Pinterest or amazing blogs and think about adding one (but not 25) to my plans this season. But it does mean that I will ask myself why I’m doing something that makes me crazy and whether it will really bless my children’s memories when they are grown.
This Christmas is the Year of the Happy Mother
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Thanks for sharing!
I am with you girl! I too have been caught up in trying to make everything perfect, only to end up grumpy. It’s not worth it to be perfect. What IS worth it is to enjoy time with my littles before they’re not little anymore. They won’t remember the stuff anyway. What they WILL remember is time with a happy mama, making memories during the holidays and the ordinary days. I’ve heard it before and it continues to ring true….kids spell love T-I-M-E. 🙂
Thanks for your honesty. You are an inspiration by being so real. 🙂
Hope your Christmas season is just lovely!
Angela, you hit the nail right on the head! I always feel so much “pressure” (from whom? Who knows. Invented, I imagine) to get it all right and have all these crazy extravagant traditions every year for Christmas. Funny, they aren’t even “our” traditions. They are someone else’s traditions that I also found somewhere in Pinterestland or whatever. I no doubt end up getting so aggravated and overwhelmed that nothing is going MY way, that my amazing plans never come to fruition and all joy in the moment is lost. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the time we have with the ones we love, with our utmost greatest capacity, and try not to get too caught up in being “super-perfectionista-mama” ;0)
I have tried to do it all, too, and ended up grumpy and stressed. I want to enjoy Advent and Christmas with my kids, not go crazy. So, I’m with you – a few new ideas instead of a zillion. Time and peace and celebrating our Savior are the most important!
Congratulations and praying for a peaceful, happy and prosperous Christmas and New Years to you and your wonderful family!
You speak the truth! We have such a warped view of the perfect Christmas. It really takes so little for our family to truly have a blessed Christmas. Thanks for reminding me.
Thank you.