Whether you prefer a strict time dependent schedule or a looser routine, building predicatbility into our families’ lives helps with discipline, eases anxiety, and allows us to get more done. For those of us with children with high anxiety levels, autism, or ADHD–this is not optional!
Every summer before school starts again, I mull over our past failures and successes and make a new schedule. I think hard about what I want to happen and hwo to pack it all in the day. For the last 5 years my scheuldes look pretty much the same even though at the time I thought I was coming up with a grand new plan. And every year my new schedule falls by the wayside after a few days.
Finally, I had an AHA moment. I was trying to pack too much into a day and running ourselves to burn out in a short period. Instead of building my dream day–I thought about what we already do routinely, and built my day around that. For me, I had to let go of specific times we do things at the home, except for appointments. Instead, we do things in a certain order at the pace that works best for the needs of the family at the time. This allows me to take care of a newborn and toddler around working from home and schooling older children.
For example, I’d love to get up at 5 am each morning. But parenting a newborn makes that wake up time torture. I can get up at 7 without trouble and after a good night, I’ll wake up naturally at 6:30. If it’s imperative that I get up earlier, I can slowly eek the time up 5-10 minutes for several days at a time until my body ajusts to the new schedule.
To get a routine that works with my family, I had to let go of what I thought others expected of me. I don’t normally discuss in circles that I wake up at 7. It feels late, and I’m embarrassed by it, but it’s what I need to do right now.
Also, we do not sit down and have breakfast as a family. My husband leaves for work at 7:30, and I wake up the children at 8. I’ve eaten long before both of those times. Instead, I trained the children to get their own breakfast while I’m doing my exercises. I try not to stress about family breakfast and focus on that family dinner instead. I’ve learned I have to choose between family breakfast and exercising and picked what works best for my family.
Also, I learned that if we don’t get our music practice out of the way before lunch, the day snowballs and before we know it, it’s meltdown time and no practice gets done for the day.
In short, I’ve learned that my routine needs to be relaxed (not too full), predictable, and organized so that what we need to do gets done when it is easiest for us (physically and emotionally) to do it.
I’m with you…I could never stick to a set time to do various activities and things like “shopping”. One thing I have started doing is setting a wake-up time and bed-time for MYSELF, and that has allowed me to understand what’s do-able for me. I never would’ve thought I needed a bed time, especially since I’ve never had one, even as a child.
I agree, breakfast is harder to do for a lot of families. At our house, my husband is up at 3:45 a.m., and out the door by 5. he doesn’t really care for a big breakfast on weekdays anyway, so I wait until my son is up and the animals are all fed before I make breakfast for he and I.
We also have a really loose schedule during the day–there are specific tasks to do, and there is an ‘iffy’ time frame, but as long as the basics get done and I have the time to work on a bigger project, I don’t sweat it anymore. Took me YEARS to get to that point!
I am SOOOO excited to see what you have to offer. I am a homeschooling mom of 7, and have fallen off the banwagon, so to speak, when it comes to home managment. I have used the maxwells managers of their homes (I have all the books), however I have struggled to keep a balance of routine vs strict schedule. Our oldest daughter is home from college for the summer, so I am hoping while I have a little extra help around here that I can get things back on a workable routine. I am also looking forward to the training tips you will be sharing.
God Bless!
Joanna
If it’s any comfort to you, I get up between 8 and 9 am. I do this because my husband’s work schedule skews late, and so while everyone else imagines we have all this amazing family time in the morning, and that I get to “sleep in”, in order to spend time with my hubby, I’m very rarely in bed before 12:30am. With my oldest being a morning person, and up around 7, if I were to get up earlier than my kids, I’d be a complete wreck. Instead, she is able to get up and get herself breakfast and have the quiet time she needs before the rest of us get up. She loves the sense of independence, and I’m better able to spread my energy throughout the day, and across the family members.
Maybe that is what I need to do, just chill out and be relaxed with my schedule. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the max this week alone! I literally passed out yesterday from exhaustion.
I will definitely think about this today.
Excellent tips,
Good tips. Don’t feel bad about 7 there was a time in my life that I didn’t get up until 8 of course there was a time I was getting up at 5 but that wasn’t by my choice, my son was an early riser for way too long. I am not a morning person, so our routine is made around that fact. I do have time goals to start certain tasks during the day, but not for everything. Example school is started by 9 and dinner is started between 4 and 4:30. We don’t do breakfast together either. We all tend to want to eat at different times after waking so we go with it.
In past years while either being pregnant or nursing and having several under 5 or was it many under age 12, I slept in! Now the children range from 28 to 11. This is now my time to get up around 5:30 and begin my day. Ladies, be encouraged cause there is a time and season for everything under Heaven. If your time is nursing an infant or giving special care to a little one; give yourself to that time and season. Don’t feel guilty. They need you right now. And if you are home educating I can asure you that they will learn…please don’t allow yourself to “keep up with the Jones’s children.” It’s just not worth it. Your children are more smarter than you think.
As your children get older you will become more organized because you will need to be. Besides that, they grow way too fast and soon you’ll look back and wonder where the time went. So savor this moment of blessing.
I am so glad I read this! I have 4 month old and can not get a schedule down like I want to right now so to see that I am not alone is nice!
Very smart move, adjusting from the family breakfast. Right now I am suffering from some burnout of my own…a zillion school and family activities and now my dad is in the hospital. Something’s gotta give. So, not my favorite choice, I am retooling some former articles for my blog that most of my newer readers haven’t seen before. Got to make some choices to avoid “crashing”. Many blessings to you, Angela!
I agree that a routine is critical. My kids are 3 and 4 and before their dad and I split they had a routine where meals and naps were concerned. When I moved home to Indy, however, and started working again, the routine went out the window. My well behaved toddlers have become unruley preschoolers. It isn’t easy getting back into the swing of things, but I am working on it. I look forward to seeing your ideas.