Personal Devotion Time

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When I was in college I would stay some weekends with a nearby family who had 3 sweet daughters.  Part of their routine was morning devotions where each child found a quiet corner to curl up in before breakfast to read and pray.  I adopted that habit from that moment until my first child was born when I let sleep deprivation derail my efforts.

The benefits of personal devotion time are many.  I remember feeling a closeness to God and felt like I could ask him anything and He would answer.  I still have many verses memorized just from those daily readings and am able to find things quickly in the scriptures because I spent a lot of time in them.  I think too about the impact of growing up in a home where you saw your mother reading the Bible daily, just for enjoyment!  I want to be a mother like that, and be a good example for the Children.

Personal devotions doesn’t have to be first thing in the morning.  It can happen any time it works out well for your family.  I plan to stick it in when we have been working long and hard at a task and need a break.  I’ll ring a bell to signal the children to grab their scriptures and find a comfy placethat’s private.  The non-readers can look at the Bible in pictures for little eyes.  To help us stick with it, it won’t be a long time, about 5-10 minutes. 

Have you sucessfully impleneted personal devotion time for you and your children?  What works for you?

Daddy Dollars

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I’m on the lookout for ways to reward my kids that reinforce our family values.  I was super excited last year to read about Daddy Dollars in Family Fun magazine and wrote a post about it here.  These types of ideas are hard for me to stick with for a number of reasons.  I don’t always have them with me when a child earns one; they try to interrupt an important project or time with another child to turn the dollars in; and I wonder sometimes if they take the dollars from each other or the bank–gasp!  Because it seems like they have more than I remember them earning at times.

It’s worth persevering with the system though, because it really motivates my children!  I’m making some changes this year that should make this a lot easier on mom.

1.  A chart of what earns a daddy dollar.  For example, Getting up, bed made, dressed and breakfast by 8:00 = 1 Daddy dollar.  All music practiced by 9:30 = 1 more daddy dollar.  And I’ve left myself a random act of kindness clause that lets me reward daddy dollars any time I see fit.

2.  A chart of what they can redeem their daddy dollars on.  For example 1 piece of gum or candy is $5.  An extra hour of computer time is $30.  A friend over to play is $50. Family to dinner at Pizza Street is $100 daddy dollars.  I try to make the rewards in tangible for the most part–and activities I wish we would do as a family but rarely make time for.

3.  A specific time to reward and accept payment of Daddy dollars.  We are going to tally up at dinner each night. This way our children will be rewarded in front of an audience and it helps build excitement for dinner time where we all sit down together.  This means I don’t have to keep the dollars with me all the time or constantly be interrupted during the day to deal with them.  They learn delayed gratification even if just for a few hours.

4.  A record sheet.  I will let the children hang on to their dollars, but I plan to keep track of what each child earns.  That way if a child comes up with $200 daddy dollars but they only earned $40, I’ll know a character issue needs addressed without falsely accusing someone.

The Listening Game

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I’m about to reveal the single thing that has been the most effective obedience training in our family. It’s fun for everyone and you only need one supply–tiny treats. Our favorite is Reeces Pieces, but mini marshmallows, MM’s, fruit snacks, or yogurt covered raisins would also do the trick. The only rule is that the treat has to be something that your children absolutely love. This is not the time to get all worried about nutrition.

Here’s how to play:  Line all your children up, sitting on the couch.  If you have a baby or toddler too small to play, have Mother sit with the children and hold the baby.  Dad calls out a child’s name and gives them a command.  It can be something silly, or a small chore.  We often get our house picked up at night playing this game. 

An example of a silly command is, “Heidi, go put your nose on the front door.”  An example of a chore command is, “Warren, go pick up 3 books in your room and put them on the shelf.”  If the children pop up immediately and say, “Yes, Sir” and cheerfully complete their command, they get a treat.   If the children pop up to obey right away and forget, “Yes, Sir.”  Then we cheerfully sit them back down to try again next time.  (Similar to Mother May I.)  Dad gives Mother a command for the baby and she pops up with a cheerful, “Yes, Sir” and helps the baby do it.  As he grows baby learns to say “Yes Sir,” and play right along.  “Yes, Sir.” is the first phrase I remember Brandon saying as an infant.

Play the game for about 30 minutes, giving each child several turns.  Be sure to stop the game while everyone is still having fun and they will be excited to play again the next time.

Mother can play the game with the children when Dad isn’t home, and I highly recommend it.  The game should be played 3 nights in a row, and then space it out to every other night, then every 3 nights.  Eventually playing it once a week or twice a month will be enough to keep the children on their obedient toes.

This is basic behavior modification training, but it helps our children so much.  It works by changing the chemical reactions in the brain to make being obedient pleasureable for them.  You can keep this positive chemical reaction going all the time by giving lots of praise when a child remembers to say, “Yes, Sir” and obey right away even when you aren’t playing the game.  This moves the child’s need for extrinsic (outside of themselves) rewards to intrinsic rewards (the good feeling that comes from doing the right thing.)  My dream for my children is to raise them to do the right thing, even when no one is looking :).

Building a Routine

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Whether you prefer a strict time dependent schedule or a looser routine, building predicatbility into our families’  lives helps with discipline, eases anxiety, and allows us to get more done.  For those of us with children with high anxiety levels, autism, or ADHD–this is not optional!

Every summer before school starts again, I mull over our past failures and successes and make a new schedule.  I think hard about what I want to happen and hwo to pack it all in the day.  For the last 5 years my scheuldes look pretty much the same even though at the time I thought I was coming up with a grand new plan.  And every year my new schedule falls by the wayside after a few days. 

Finally, I had an AHA moment.  I was trying to pack too much into a day and running ourselves to burn out in a short period.  Instead of building my dream day–I thought about what we already do routinely, and built my day around that.  For me, I had to let go of specific times we do things at the home, except for appointments.  Instead, we do things in a certain order at the pace that works best for the needs of the family at the time.  This allows me to take care of a newborn and toddler around working from home and schooling older children. 

For example, I’d love to get up at 5 am each morning.  But parenting a newborn makes that wake up time torture.  I can get up at 7 without trouble and after a good night, I’ll wake up naturally at 6:30. If it’s imperative that I get up earlier, I can slowly eek the time up 5-10 minutes for several days at a time until my body ajusts to the new schedule.

To get a routine that works with my family, I had to let go of what I thought others expected of me.  I don’t normally discuss in circles that I wake up at 7.  It feels late, and I’m embarrassed by it, but it’s what I need to do right now. 

 Also, we do not sit down and have breakfast as a family.  My husband leaves for work at 7:30, and I wake up the children at 8.  I’ve eaten long before both of those times.  Instead, I trained the children to get their own breakfast while I’m doing my exercises.  I try not to stress about family breakfast and focus on that family dinner instead.  I’ve learned I have to choose between family breakfast and exercising and picked what works best for my family.

Also, I learned that if we don’t get our music practice out of the way before lunch, the day snowballs and before we know it, it’s meltdown time and no practice gets done for the day. 

In short, I’ve learned that my routine needs to be relaxed (not too full), predictable, and organized so that what we need to do gets done when it is easiest for us (physically and emotionally) to do it.

June is Family Month

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Happy June!  For most of us school is out or nearly so.  It’s a great time to redirect our thoughts towards building strong family relationships, addressing holes in our child training, and creating memories.  This month I’m going to give you my best ideas on gently teaching children to listen and obey right away, building respect, creating routines and good habits, forging strong parent child relationships, helping brothers and sisters be friends, and passing on values.  It doesn’t require a lot of money to accomplish these things, but it does require time.  And I need to warn you, even though it’s simple, it’s not easy.  Which is why I stumble with it even though I know what to do.

Here’s the hardest part:  Our children learn best by watching us.  If big changes need to take place in our homes with the children, then we are going to have to change our own behavior in a big way.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

And believe it or not, doing these things will SAVE you a bunch of money.  You’ll buy less junk food, bribes, appeasements, fines, and replacing lost or broken items.  There’s also a potential medical savings, both physcial and psychological.  All this savings means we can redirect our money to the greater benefit of our children and teach them how to manage money at the same time. 

This month I’m going to get specific and practical.  Do you have trouble getting your children to practice their music, keep their rooms clean, or eat their food?  I’ll tell you what works for me, but I want you to know things are far from perfect around here.  Our children are a work in progress and so am I, so I’m looking forward to hearing your own ideas in the comments sections each day this month.

I also want to be clear that this is not a “Do this or reap eternal consequences”  kind of guide.  Just a month of ideas to consider and take or leave.

See you tomorrow.  I can’t wait to get started!

Grant’s Birth Story

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I’m going to warn you up front that this story may have more detail than you’d like to read.  But I hope my experience helps someone else who has a childbirth outside her hopes and plans.

I was due with Grant on April 18th and all my measurements were on target with that date.  I gained a whopping 50lbs with this pregnancy and a good percentage of that was in the last 6 weeks.  I lost my mucus plug at 35 weeks was 50% effaced and started to dialate a little.  I continued to experience long periods of contractions from that time forward that would eventually stop without helping to progress labor any.  At 41 weeks I was exhausted from being up at night with contractions, yet hadn’t dialted or effaced any more for all the work.  5 of  my 6  babies had been induced by AROM near 42 weeks, mainly because I have so much amniotic fluid that it prevents the contractions from putting pressure on the cervix.

The day before my 41st week appointment, I felt Grant move in a big way and then all the kicking was down low instead of high like the rest of my pregnancy.  I was afraid that he had turned breech and was upset with myself for not letting the midwife induce me earlier when he was positioned correctly.  But at my appointment she felt that he was head down and I didn’t worry as much.  I decided to schedule the induction for the next day.  Normally my inductions only require AROM (arificial rupture of membranes) which removes the pocket of water and allows my contractions to be effective.

This time my midwife wasn’t sure this would be enough.  She started talking about pitocin and cervidil, two drugs I’d never used before.  I was anxious about it, becuase I wanted a natural delivery.  I wasn’t confident I would be able to deliver without pain medication if they administered pitocin.

Darren took me to dinner at Smokehouse Bar-B-Q, the same restaurant he took me to the day I found out we were expecting Heidi, our first.  We went to the hospital from the restaurant to start cervidil to help the cervix ripen.  They offered me a sleeping pill since this process can start early labor which would keep me up all night, but I didn’t take it for fear that it would make the baby sleepy too.

I was up all night listening to the heart monitor for the baby.  Grant’s heartbeat seemed to be unusually slow and would slow even more during a contraction.  The nurses would run in and out during the night messing with the monitor to make sure it was reading correctly.  Finally they rolled me to my right side instead of the customary left and Grant’s heartbeat came closer to normal.  The cord and placenta were on the left side and when I lay that way it reduced his oxygen supply. 

During that long night, I tested the idea that I might not be bringing  a baby home with me.  My own blood pressure was taken every 15 minutes or so and hovered around 90/50 which is low even for me.  I was afraid to go to sleep, wondering if I would be able to wake up.

In the morning, they broke my water and instead of Grant’s head moving down into position, it floated up and away.  The midwife kept her fingers in place to prevent the cord from prolapsing down while the labor nurse pushed on my stomach to force Grant’s head down.  When they were satisfied, they got me up to walk around.  My contractions started coming stronger, but not strong enough and at several points I leaned against the wall to cry.  Something was wrong…I could feel it.

After an hour, they brought me back to the room for fetal monitoring and to check my progress.  When the labor nurse checked the cervix and for Grant’s head, she felt something else…a foot.  Grant had positioned himself sideways in the womb to make more room for his foot by his ear, which explains why all the kicking was down low.  This took the pressure off the cervix again and made the contractions ineffective.

We called for the elder’s from our church as described in James 5:14 to annoint with oil and pray for a healing.  Meanwhile the nurse tickled Grant’s foot on the inside while pressing on the outside to encourage him to pull his foot back.  This was most effectively done during a contraction which was very painful.   She suggested we try pitocin to make my contractions stronger which might make him uncomfortable enough to pull his foot back and straighten out in the womb. 

This was the beginning of my biggest fear.  Pitocin, leading to an epidural, leading to an ineffective labor and infant in distress, leading to a c-section.   But without trying all options, I was headed to a c-section any way.   I gave the okay to start the pitocin and the elder’s came to pray.  After they left, the nurse suggested I get on all fours and lay my head down on the bed.  She thought the change in gravity might inspire Grant to move.  This was a very uncomfortable way to labor, but after a few minutes I felt a huge movment in my womb. 

The nurse went to check my cervix again and when she inserted her fingers, he grabbed one of them with his fist.  He certainly had moved, just not in the way we had hoped.   I knew they would need to try manually adjusting his position again and the dread and fear of the pain made me wish for a c-section just to make it all end.

Then I thought about the epidural.  It would be better to have that in place already if we needed an emergency c-section.  Without it they would have to use a general anesthetic, admit me to the main portion of the hospital for recovery, Darren wouldn’t be allowed to join me for the surgery, and I would need to pump and dump my milk until the drugs were out of my system.  I started to ask questions about the epidural.  I found out that it doesn’t cross the placenta, it could cause my blood pressure to drop even lower (a concern that they would monitor closely), and that I would no longer be able to move about (a relief.)  I told her to request the anesthesiologist and then I cried.

I had to mourn the loss of the perfect labor I had dreamed about.  And relieve some of the stress of wondering if Grant and I would be okay.  It’s amazing what good a little cry can do to lift the spirits and bring on new resolve.  I knew God was with me and I tried not to think about the judgements of family who would not understand or approve of the medical choices I was making.

The epidural brought instant relief, both from pain and from anxiety. The nausea went away. I was able to think clearly and communicate with the medical staff.  I was instantly ready to face another labor and delivery if God chose to bless us with another child. 

I was nearly completely dialated at this point and Grant was still in a bad position.  The midwife decided to try one more thing.  She put on a long veterinary glove and reached her entire hand into my womb.  She was able with one hand to straighten out Grant’s arms and legs, pulling them back into position.  The labor nurse then pressed on the outside of my stomach to engage his head into the pelvis, hopefully locking him into place.  I couldn’t feel anything this time except for a little pressure.   It worked!  Grant’s heart rate improved, and they tucked me into bed for a nap.  I had been awake for nearly 30 hours by this time and had nothing to eat for a night and day.

After a little rest, Grant was born in just a few minutes.  Pushing was different with an epidural.  I had to concentrate to discern what was just pressure from Grant being so low and what was a true contraction.  When he was born, he was bluish purple and did not breathe without an oxygen mask and help from the nurses.   I did not feel strong enough to hold him, and was ready to give his care over to my husband and the nurses. After getting a good meal and nursing him for a few hours those feelings totally changed and I didn’t want to put him down.   I’m so thankful for the love of God that allowed me to endure the hard labor and that ultimately brought forth life.

I’m in Love Again

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I decided long ago that I cry so much during pregnancy because God is making my heart bigger.  I can’t explain to a mom of one how she will be able to love her second child (and her sixth) just as much as the first without reducing her love for the first at all.  I can only reassure her that it does happen.

I hope you will forgive my absense for the last week.  I had prepared my blog for a mid-April delivery and when I delivered so close to May, I was out of material.  I’m sure I could have found time to write something, but I didn’t want to.  I couldn’t tear myself away from this:

And even when he is in someone else’s arms, I can’t stop watching. She will be a beautiful mother, and is already so skilled with the babies.

And the youngest brother is learning how to care for babies too.  No jealousy yet…He has fallen in love too.  I’m sure the green moments will come, and I’m working up a plan to deal with it.  But for now, it’s lovely to see the brothers loving each other.

I’m all too aware how fast these baby days fly, and while I intend to pick up the pace here at the blog soon, I’m not in a hurry to do that.  This blog will keep, but baby Grant and the others will grow so fast.  I can’t miss a single moment!

What I Wish I Had Known about the First Moments of Mothering

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I’m now a mother of 6, but still remember clearly the day my first baby was born.  I was young and scared and clueless.  All the books I had read couldn’t prepare me for the moment I became a mother and the unique challenges my daughter would present.  Contrary to one book I read, I found out I did have instincts–though I prefer to call it the Holy Spirit to guide me.  Here are some of the hardest learned lessons for me:

80% of women deliver between 40 and 41 weeks.  Only 10% of women deliver before their due date, and another 20% go the second week or are induced for being more than 2 weeks overdue.  It’s a great idea to add 1 week to the due date the doctor gives you and tell that date to anyone who asks when you are due.

Real Labor can be hard to predict, but most women get a “feeling” when it’s time.  I spend weeks and weeks in pre-labor contractions that may or may not dialate my cervix, but eventually stop before the baby is born.  Real labor will continue to progress with the contractions getting closer together and more intense as time passes.  Practice labor will eventually decline in frequency and intensity.  Real labor contractions can be several minutes long, but they may be short and intense instead.  Labor contractions can feel like menstural cramps, or bad gas, or even a backache.  If you do have back labor, this is a sign that your baby is turned posterior.  If you get on all fours and do pelvic rocks, this can encourage your baby to turn the correct way, relieve your back labor, and make for an easier delivery.

Practice labor and other signs (losing your plug, baby dropping, increase in cervical fluid, and pre-labor effacing and dialating) mean very little about when you will actually go into labor.  Even if you have none of these signs, labor may still start soon.  On the other hand many mamas have walked around for several weeks 4-5 centimeters dialated and 80% effaced.

There will come a point in your labor where the contractions come right on top of each other and you feel that you can’t do it any more.  This is called transition and means that you will be ready to push very soon.  Instead of giving up, take this point as a triumph that everything is just about over.  When pushing starts, your contractions will slow down and feel more manageable.  Many women feel more in control at this point.  Listen to your midwife or doctor very carefully during pushing.  They will guide you in how fast to push and how to work with your body’s natural contractions.  If you can stay in control and push the baby out slowly if possible, you may avoid tearing.  If your birth assistant is encouraging you to push quickly, there may be a medical reason why–it’s best to listen.

You can buy your pre-pregnancy size in maternity clothes only if you gain no more than 25-30 lbs during your pregnancy.  I usually gain 40 lbs (I can’t seem to help it) and have to go up a size.  Many non-maternity clothes will work for the full 40 weeks if the fabric is stretchy enough and the cut is right.  I love my yoga waist pants and skirt and wear them when pregnant or not.  They were the only things I could still wear the last 2 weeks before delivery.

Nursing is natural but it isn’t always easy.  Some babies have to be taught to nurse and it can take several days and require professional help to get it done. (Even if you hire help, nursing is less expensive than formula.)  Using an orthodontic pacifier can help break a newborn of tongue thrust. It’s best to try to nurse immediately after birth, if everyone’s health permits, because in a few hours baby will become very sleepy.  If your newborn is too sleepy to nurse after the initial feeding, it’s okay to let him sleep.  After the first 12 hours, it’s a good idea to try harder to wake baby up to eat.

Nursing correctly shouldn’t hurt over the long haul, but a new mama’s nipples can be extremely sore for 2 weeks after delivery whether she nurses correctly or not.  Using Lansinoh ointment on the nipples can help through this time, and using it for two weeks before delivery can help prevent the soreness.  You want to prepare the nipples by softening and moisturizing them, not by toughening them up.  Using a harsh towel to toughen nipples can make them even more sore once baby arrives.  If you are so sore that you are tempted to stop nursing, remember–it only lasts 2 weeks!

Most mothers do not automatically lose weight while breastfeeding.  Some even gain weight!  Nursing streses the body nutritionally even more than pregnancy does and a nursing mother’s apppetite can rival any teenage boy’s.  It’s still possible to lose weight while nursing, but you will have to be methodical about it.  Eliminate sweets and refined breads from your diet and choose whole grains, fruits, vegetables and lean proteins instead.  Count your proteins first, then add your vegetables next.  Fill in any remaining calories with unsweetened fruit and whole grains.  Drink a ton of water, exercise, and keep taking your prenatal vitamins. 

Babies cry for a reason.  They do not cry just to manipulate or cause parent’s grief.  Sometimes they cry to relieve stress (then it only lasts 5-10 minutes before they go to sleep.)  Sometimes they cry because they are hungry, wet, dirty, cold, hot, scared, tired, or have a hair wrapped around their toe or little finger.  Babies cry when they have gas, need to burp, or need to potty and would rather not do it in their diaper.  When babies cry hard, can’t stand to lay down on their backs, and spit up so hard it hit’s the wall behind you, they may have reflux and require special care.  Babies cry when they feel mama’s stress, and in those cases a next door neighbor dropping by to hold baby can make her stop, even though she’s a complete stranger.  Babies tend to cry more in the evening, about the time Daddy comes home or it’s time to eat supper.  Even the experts are stumped on why.  Pretty soon you will start to hear that Baby’s cries sound different and a certain cry means one thing, while another means another thing.  If your baby won’t stop crying and you can’t find the reason, call someone for help, or leave baby in her crib for a few minutes while you step away from the situation and get a grip.  Once you’ve regained your cool, It might help to strip baby down to her diaper and put her up right inside your shirt skin to skin and walk and bounce. 

After the second baby, labor pains can continue for 24-48 hours after delivery.  These are called after pains and many first time mamas never feel them.  After my second delivery, the unexpected pains were so bad I wondered if there was another baby there.  Even though I have natural deliveries, I’m sure to ask for tylenol as soon as the baby is here.  I’ve heard the pains subside for the 7th baby and on, but I don’t have personal experience with that yet. Anyone want to chime in that has 7 or more children?

If your baby cries constantly in the rear facing bucket carseat, it may be that there is insufficient padding in the bottom portion of the seat.  In seats priced up to $100, there is usually a 1/4 inch thick back pad and nothing on the seat.  $200 seats have very plush padding, which makes me think that it is safe to do so–but companies try to save money by not adding it. If you remove your cover, you can see what kind of padding is there or not there.  I was shocked at all the holes, poky things and hard plastic just under the thin carseat cover.  No wonder baby cries!  I purchased 1/4 inch high density foam from my local hobby store and finished padding the seat out, snipping the foam to allow the straps to go through.  It only took 5 minutes and the cover still fits great.

It’s best to rest as much as possible for the first week.  And good not to go out with baby for the first 2-4 weeks even if you feel great.  If you have visitors during those first two weeks, wear pajamas, try not to look too perky and don’t wait on them for drinks or food.  Accept offers of help and if you can afford it, hire someone to clean while you recover.  I once went to Wal-mart when my oldest was 5 days old.  I felt great while I was home, but had trouble walking through the store and started bleeding heavily.  Once I arrived back home, I had large blood clots and my recovery was held up for several days longer than necessary.  After my third baby I went to a special church service when she was a week old.  A well meaning person said, “Wow!  A tiny baby and already pregnant again!”  How RUDE.  I gave her a weird look and said, “Um, she’s a week old!”  I’ve learned to enjoy the quiet time at home while both baby and I recover.  Life will get busy enough soon enough.

It may be an exciting day when baby sleeps through the night the first time, but if you have been infertile since his birth due to breastfeeding, the overnight without nursing may cause your fertility to return.  It is possible to become pregnant right away without having a period to warn you.  Going all night without nursing may also cause your milk supply to dwindle, so be sure to watch for signs that baby is getting enough to eat.

That’s all I can remember right now.  What do you wish you had known?

What to Pack in a Hospital Bag

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Bag by Amy Butler

This list is for me, because I have a hard time remembering from baby to baby.  I’ve seen a lot of lists out there that try to think of everything, and most of it is a waste of space and requires multiple bags.  This is exactly what I use and nothing more.

Slipper Socks–For walking the hall to encourage early labor to progress.  The hospital will provide these for you if you don’t have any. I’d prefer to be barefoot, but hospitals frown on this.  I’ve started wearing the hospital socks during labor and saving my clean ones for after.  I tend to be very cold for awhile after giving birth.

Flocked Inflatable Bath Pillow (For labor in the whirl pool tub).

Small Battery Operated Fan (For labor–I tend to get really hot during a contraction and really cold in between.) Dh holds this for me when I signal him.

Snacks for Dad–This is when Darren gets all the treats I generally don’t buy, such as Nutter Butters, and chocolate dipped wafer bars. I also take zinc losenges to help keep him from getting sick with all the treats, lol.

Camera and Vado mini-video camera

List of people to call after the birth (prepaid long distance card if necessary)

2 nursing nightgowns (with nursing bras if they aren’t built in.)

5 pairs of old underpants (Actually, Depends style disposeable underwear are fantastic for this time.  The hospital often provides disposeable mesh panties but if your pads leak, the mesh allows it to get all over your nightgown and sheets.  Depends catch any leaks and keep your pretty nighty clean.  Just put your pad right in your Depends.  You can change the pad out and reuse the same pair of Depends until they get dirty.

Nursing cover–for nursing when visitors come

2 receiving blankets (for going home–I use the hospital’s while we are there.)

2 Infant gowns–the hospital will provide a t-shirt, receiving blankets, a crude cap, and small bag of diapers for your baby while you are there.  If you want something more for your baby to wear during the hospital stay, you must bring it.

1 going home outfit for baby

1 going home outfit for mom, including a nursing bra and underpants.  This doesn’t have to be fancy–no one will see you, since you should head home and go to bed.  It should be very comfortable and something that fit you when you were 30 weeks pregnant.

Nursing pads, nursing bras, and Lansinoh nipple cream.

Orthodontic pacifiers.  (My favorite is Mam.) I know the experts say not to use these within the first 2 weeks of delivery, but there is a time for them.  Many babies are born not knowing how to eat!  They have poor latches and tend to push everything out of their mouth with their tongue.  The first thing to try in this instance is holding an orthodontic pacifier in the newborn’s mouth until they accept it and learn to suck, then immediately trade the pacifier for the breast while the tongue is still rounded correctly.  It may have to be done several times before baby learns to eat, but he will learn.  If he is not learning as quickly as you thing he should, please ask the doctor to check your infant for a tied tongue.  This is a common problem which requires minor surgery to correct.  Please don’t leave the hospital until baby is nursing well and don’t be afraid to ask for the onstaff lactation consultant to come as often as you need her to.

Cosmetics and toiletries (such as toothbrush, shower gel, hair stuff etc.)  You will feel so much better if you can get up, clean up and fix up!

Belly Binder–For helping the uterus to contract and to start to repair your stretched out muscles.

Book to read, or other activity (Such as a soaker to knit–grin).  There is a TV there and you may have visitors to talk to.  Plus it’s important to sleep as much as you can.  But baby also sleeps a lot and you may want something to do to stave off boredom.

Milk Thistle Tea bags and stevia to sweeten–Drinking milk thistle tea will help your milk come in quickly and well, and help your body flush excess fluid retention, strengthen your liver and fat burning capabilities, and keep your bowls moving well.  Milk thistle tea tastes like paper and never gets very dark.  Stevia helps a lot.

Baby Grant is Here!

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Grant Milton Coffman was born April 27th at 4:30p.m.  He weighted 8 lbs. 13 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long.  Mother and Baby are doing fine.

Here he is with Kimberly Negrete The Midwife who has delivered all of our Children.

And of course big brother Brandon is very excited to have a little brother.