Update on the Zone Cleaning for Kids

By on

We’re two thirds through the summer so I feel like I can safely update on how our zone cleaning is going.  If you missed the first post describing our system, find it here. First of all, it’s still going!  That’s a win in my book since most of my efforts at chore charts have ended by the 2nd week.

Here are a few photos of zones in action:

I show these photos as they are because I want to be transparent that our house isn’t magazine ready at all times just because we’re doing zone cleaning.  It’s not perfect for sure, illustrated by the boy practicing the piano in pajamas (and my clutter all over) even though getting dressed is higher up on his list.  I’m focusing on the fact that the boy is PRACTICING.  The amount of music progress we’ve made since the charts came out is staggering and worth the whole effort by itself.

So what’s working?

  1.  The fact that we have a consistent plan. The boys are thriving on the consistency and are helping to hold each other accountable in a mostly good natured way.
  2. I have passcodes on all the devices (except for the shared chrome book they use for school.)  Even the ones they bought with their own money.  So they have to bring it to me before they can get on it, which means I have the chance to ask if they are done with their zones.
  3. The boys are getting a lot of pride out of their zones. Check out this facebook post:

5.  We had a fail one day where I caught all the brothers in a dark room under a blanket watching a video on the Chromebook. The video was on my approved list but nobody had done anything on their list. They were all still in PAJAMAS!  It was 9am and I gathered up every electrical device in the house and locked them in my room.  I was like, “Bummer.  I’m so sorry this happened. Don’t worry, tomorrow we start again.  You can have everything back tomorrow, after your zones are done, as long as you get today’s zone work done too.”   There was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  It’s the kind of day that you PRAY for when you are doing a system like this, because they knew I meant business and that I WOULD follow through.  We’ve never had a problem like this again.

6.  I’ve had the opportunity to teach them how to do some new chores that they hadn’t done before.  Like secrets about getting the pink mold out of the bathroom, how to clean the shower without getting your hands dirty, and what it means to be truly clean.  Plus they’ve finally learned where all the dishes go in the kitchen! I try really hard not to be too picky, but after we’d been going several weeks, I started doing inspections and sending kids back to redo sub-par work.

7.  This is the most consistent we’ve ever been with reading and music practice!!!

What’s not working?

  1. I can’t remember the order of the zones and the boys often can’t find their paper on Sunday when it’s time to trade.  I’m constantly asking, “Who’s in this zone?” It would help if I had a row of nails for them to hang their clipboards on when not in use. Then we could find them easily and I could see who goes where.  It would also help if I made up a file with all the zone assignments for the year.
  2. The list is pretty overwhelming for Grant (he’s 7 with some sensory issues.)  Some days it makes him want to curl up in a fetal position and never get out of bed.  I often work his zones with him, teaching him how to do things along the way.  He does help and as long as he’s working too, I’m fine with it.  I’m thinking about making separate, shorter zone sheets for him to rotate through that are different from his older siblings.
  3. Since the kids are able to pick and choose what to work on in their zones, several items never get done….like cleaning around the base of the toilets, scrubbing the bath tub or wiping down the cabinet fronts.
  4. Sometimes the work is just poorly done and I have to send them back to do a decent job.  This definitely takes more management than it seems.  The boys will get lazy and not set a timer, do a 5 minutes job in their zone and think they are done.  I have to be consistent with accountability on spending a good quality 20 minutes in their zones.  The more consistently I check on them the less likely they are to try to get away with stuff.  In the beginning I had to check every time, and I used it for a chance to give them atta-boys as often as I can.  Now I only have to check a few times a week. Because they never know when an inspection will pop up, they do good work most of the time.
  5. Sometimes I need help later in the day with emptying the dishwasher or setting the table.  Invariably the boy asked to help says, “That’s not my zone.” or “I already did my 20 minutes.”  They are not allowed to respond to me that way when given a direct request and in the scheme of the amount of work required to run our house 20 minute is NOTHING.  So we’ve had a lot of correction to do in this area and it’s still a work in progress.

What do you think?  Do you have any chore tips or stories for us?

 

 

One thing to do Before the New Year

By on

The Christmas tree is still up and sparkling a cheerful greeting today.  My organized friends are already put away for the New Year, but I’m letting the 12 days of Christmas linger on.  It’s not our usual thing, but we’ve been working in extra doctor visits this week which included a 6 hour trip to see a specialist in the next state over.  Times like these call for grace.

I know you’ll understand, when I say it was an accomplishment to just get the dishes washed and find clean underwear.

This week between Christmas and New Year’s, when you still have some lingering memories of Christmas and how you felt about everything, is the perfect time to make your life better next year. Were you joyful? Disappointed? Super Organized? Stressed?  While you can still remember what went right and what went wrong, write a note.  I have an excel document that I add a new tab to every year for gift budget planning.  That way I can easily reflect on past year’s happenings and improve my plans for the next year.

How I Make My Christmas Budget

At the end of the year, I write a few lines under the budget about things that I want to remember.  (And trust me, we won’t remember if we don’t write it down.)  For example, one year my daughter had a meltdown about not having a cute outfit to wear to our family gathering where her really trendy cousin would be. It’s not a big deal in the scheme of things, but it sure disrupted the happiness at our house. I made a note to work with her at the beginning of the season so that she’ll have a good option and then this year she surprised me by not caring anymore.

One time, I was surprised by “family gifts” that were passed around at our white elephant gift exchange party.  I had thought we were doing the white elephant to avoid individual gifting and save budgets and stress on family members….but then I was handed a gift and had nothing to give in return, and I was the ONLY one who didn’t bring family gifts.  That felt awful.

There are a myriad of possible ways to give charitably during the season. Our church sponsors families and we have the opportunity to buy gifts for those less fortunate.  I also belong to a charitable giving group of local friends and we sponsored our local foster care system and women’s shelter this year.  It was an awesome way to show my kids the joy of helping others, except I failed to plan for it in our budget.  At the time of year when things are already tight, this had me scrambling.  I wrote a new budget line just for that for next year’s budget.

Our grandmother passed away a year ago, and several of the grandchildren gave her daughter the grandmother’s favorite Christmas candy to remember her.  It was really meaningful and I didn’t think of it, so it went into my notes.

One year I made several homemade gifts to help with our budget and improve the quality of the gifts I was able to give.  The only problem was I got both kinds of flu 2 weeks before Christmas and had to wrap unfinished gifts to take back and finish at home later.  Now I give myself a calendar notification in September to start choosing projects and a before Thanksgiving deadline to have them all done.

You see where this is going?  It could be a good thing too, like wrapping my gifts as they came (with a code number on it so I can remember what’s in it!) and putting them under the tree and there was no last minute scramble or danger of the gift being found and the surprised ruined.

While I have the excel file open, I go ahead and copy my old budget over for the new year, then tweak it.  If I have gift ideas, I add them in as well.  In 2017 I’m doubling my gift budget for my own kids.  It has been so small since they were born, that if we wanted to give them anything big, it had to be a family gift and use all the budget for all the kids–no individual gifts.  I’m ready to change that and breathe a little.  When we started out, we budgeted $20 per kid for Christmas. Then when we were debt free, doubled it to $40. For the last 4 years we raised it to $50.  Next year I’m budgeting $100.  I also raised the birthday budget to $100 per child. Since Darren’s salary didn’t go up, that means I’ll need to make up the difference. I kept the amount the same that comes from our regular household budget, and the rest I will earn extra each month to make it a reality.

This is also a great time to update the addresses in your Christmas card list.  I almost forgot about that, because we haven’t managed to mail any out for the last 3 years or even take an updated family photo.  I’ve set the bar low to improve next year, bwa ha ha.

Plus, check out this post on 2 options for a 52 week savings plan.

How to Make Something not a Big Deal

By on

When I was growing up, my mama did a lot of things around the house.  She used power tools, repaired furniture, skim coated drywall, decorated cakes, sewed clothes, baked fresh bread, gardened and preserved the harvest, had a family dinner every night, and taught Sunday School.

bread

As I grew up, all these activities were normal to me.  It wasn’t a big deal for me to bake bread or sew clothes, it was just something that mamas do.  Having a nightly family dinner was just something you DO, it never occurred to me to skip it.  When we were done, we cleared the table, washed the dishes and wiped down the counters.  We didn’t even think about it, we just did it.

hands-in-dough

We walked away from stuff when it cost too much even though my dad made good money. Mom’s willingness to walk away and do without, or wait for the right deal made sure they had savings.  They paid off their house when I was 9 and never borrowed another dime after that.  It built character in me to not have the latest trends and to wait for things. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but the skill of waiting has served me well as an adult.

hand-tape-measure-sewing

We went to church.  Every time the doors were open.  I never had to ask if we were going.  We just did.

My babies came so soon after I married and so close together that I lost some of my good habits—like going to bed early, getting up early, working out consistently, and daily Bible study.  Now that life has settled down a little (knock on wood) I’m figuring out how to build these habits back into my day.  My first thought was to get up early and do them before my kids are up.  That way I can have uninterrupted quiet time (sounds so good!)  If I did that, they would never see me do them.  And those are the important things that I want them to think are just part of being a mama.  Mamas read their Bibles.  Mama’s take care of their bodies. Mamas pray.

mama-reads-the-bible

The habits that I want to be second nature for my kids, the ones I don’t want to be a big deal, just something they DO, those are the things I need to model for them now.  They need to see it consistently, day in and day out.  Not stressful, not a big deal, just accomplished.

I wonder what my kids will just do and not think about, because it was a normal part of their childhood.  I hope using cash is one of them, along with saving up to pay for stuff, being ok with roughing it to pave the way for a bigger goal, and giving to people who are in need.

What do you do all day?

By on

little-homemaker-laundry-child

Say the word “homemaker,” and this is the most frequent response:

“What do you do all day?”

This question is offensive to a lot of at homemakers because it implies that there’s not enough to do to keep an at home spouse off the couch watching Netflix and eating raw cookie dough.  (Not that that NEVER happens. Overwhelm can drive anyone to a Netflix cookie dough binge.  And if there’s any job that’s overwhelming, it’s homemaking.)

I thought about it a lot and I think I can put my job description into one tidy sentence.

“I optimize life for my household.”

Cleaning is part of it, but a tiny part.

I make sure my husband can work, and try to take care of the things that would normally interrupt the working day of a spouse in a two income household.  Things like making appointments, a sick child, meeting a service provider, running errands.

I research, research, research, so we get the right products, get appropriate discounts, and stay under budget.

It’s my job to keep food in the house, and prepare meals that are conducive to health, the budget and shared family time.

I learn new skills so we can hire out less. Skills like minor electrical work, carpentry, sewing, painting, interior design, and cooking.

I advocate for our kids, so their health and learning needs are not passed over. This means more research, a lot of research, and sometimes doing interventions myself when there aren’t professionals available to us.

I manage our stuff so we aren’t buried in a pile of it, and can still find what we need when we need it.  That includes turning our used stuff into cash through garage sales, Craigslist, Ebay and tax deductible donations.

I make sure everyone has clothing, within budget, that fits, is clean and repaired.  Sometimes that means making it myself, shopping online, or visiting several stores. Plus taking care of personal appearances like cutting a boy’s hair or guiding a daughter through  makeup and hair for her first date.

I give encouragement and support so everyone can be their best selves.  This includes helping with music practice and homework, listening to their joys and sorrows and stories, and reminding them how great God made them.

I am a full time dedicated cheer leader for 7 people. That’s my FAVORITE part of the job.

This doesn’t mean I do everything myself.  I’m like a general contractor.  I delegate the appropriate jobs.  Sometimes I delegate jobs to my kids that would be easier to do myself, just because it’s good for them to work.

I take my job super seriously.  I’m constantly researching the best ways to do things and learning new skills. I’m also human and with a job list as long as mine, the big size of our household, and our limited budget, my house isn’t always company ready and the laundry isn’t always folded and put away.  Sometimes my time is better spent painting a room than keeping up with daily chores and I’m so thankful my family pitches in and is understanding about that.

It’s true that we sacrifice a little in available cash for me to have this position, but we gain so much more in quality of life in exchange.  I know not everyone can make this choice, so trust me that I don’t stand in judgement of work out of the home moms.  I was once that mom myself.

What do you think?

Everybody Struggles

By on

When I was thinking about the things I want my daughter to know before she leaves home, I made a mental list of the fastest way to clean X, how to make bread, how to fix a zipper etc…then I realized those are all things she could google.  What she really needs to know is stuff that I’m still trying to grasp.  Things like “everybody struggles.”

embarrassed

About 6 years ago, we drove a few hours north to go to a family reunion.  My husband’s cousin invited us for an impromptu tour of her home that she had built with her husband.  I offered to give her a head start and she looked at me like I had 3 heads.  Her home was ALWAYS ready for company.  When we walked in it looked like a show home.  It was spotless and perfectly decorated, even the kid bedrooms.  I left my shoes outside.

As the tour progressed I made a mental note of the things I could change in my routine to make my home always ready for company. When I got home, I chunked all those ideas in the trash.  Honestly, we could barely make sure we had clean underwear with the size of our family and the number of commitments we were involved with.  I felt like a failure.

The next year, our cousin left her family and filed for divorce.  Her daughter was in jail on drug charges.  Everybody struggles. The truth is life is hard.  What our home looks like is not a barometer on our overall success and happiness with life.  It’s a tiny part of the big picture.

woman-running-in-the-woods

All we can do is our best, with margin for appropriate rest and balance.  God doesn’t expect us to run faster than we have strength.  There are seasons in life that are harder than others and it’s so tempting to judge our performance in the hard season with someone else’s in their easy.  It’s like a marathon runner, sweating and out of breath, looking at someone cheering from the sidelines and saying, “oh man, she’s not even sweating.”  Then thinking of herself as a failure.

That said, there are habits and skills when formed in the easier seasons of life (childhood), that will make the hard seasons a tiny bit easier (3 kids under 3.)  We’ll talk about them too in a future post.

 

Before She Leaves

By on

I have roughly 21 months left with my oldest daughter living in my home.  In that time she will graduate high school and head off to college; marriage and babies soon to follow.  I lounged on her bed this weekend just talking about the things that matter to her, that give her hope, that stress her out, that make her excited.   Breathing in the time with her, aware more than ever how precious and rare it is.  Read more…

No More Mess! A strategy that really works

By on

As usual, this post is about transferring responsibility to the kids.  That doesn’t mean that we get to sit back and do nothing, but once this system is in place it’s much less stressful than normal.

No More Mess

I couldn’t wait to go to college.  For the first time I could set my own rules and try out life on my own while still bringing my laundry home every weekend — independent, but not tooooo independent.

I only took the stuff that I needed to survive and happily moved into the dorm shared with 3 friends from home.  For the first time in my life I kept my room clean.  Spotlessly clean.

Before 2

Was it because I only had a few things?  Partly.  Was it because I finally felt responsible for my own space?  Partly.  Was it because I was determined to show that I was a mature adult?  Partly.

Heather's Room

The REAL reason was the college inspected our rooms and bathrooms every Wednesday, and if we failed in any small part, we had to pay a maid to make it right.   I was broke enough.  I didn’t want to give up extra money each week just to wallow in filth.

Why did the school care that much?  If we were filthy, then mold, rodents and bugs could become a problem.  They were protecting their property and rightly so.  Either we could clean ourselves or hire someone to clean it for us.  The school didn’t care either way as long as the room got clean. As parents we have just as much right to protect our property and our sanity by requiring our kids to keep their rooms clean and keep the food in the kitchen.

The Plan

  1.  Help your kids sort their items Konmari style, keeping only the things that spark joy.  If they still have too much stuff, offer to box half the things to trade when they get bored with what they have.
  2. Give all the items they are keeping a specific home (labels are a nice touch.)
  3. Give a short list of expectations
  4. Inspect weekly (or daily at the start if you are building habits) You might have a learning time period when the kids get a treat for clean spaces
  5. Charge them for a maid if they need one

Do you think it would work at your house?

This has been day 14 of our series 31 Days of Kids and Money

P.S.  I have to be really honest here.  Not all of our kid rooms are clean right now.  The ones that we have Konmaried are doing well and we’re still in the process on the rest.  We proved the system worked at our old house and now we’re working to get back to that happy place.  A lot of it depends on me being consistent with the checking, the rewards and the consequences.  Sometimes I think It would be easier to just clean the room myself, BUT that’s not good for the kids.  How amazing would it be to grow up and be a tidy adult?   I want that for them.

 

Meet Aspiring Kidpreneur, Brandon

By on

Kidpreneur Brandon

Brandon turned 8 on the 5th of this month and hopes to launch his business this summer as a personal consultant on Kid Bedroom Organization and Interior Design.

I’m going to be up front about this, Brandon is unusual. He was born organized and likes things to be tidy. He made his own lunch from the first day of kindergarten, wakes himself up for school with his own alarm, and frequently brings me items to get rid of because he doesn’t play with them enough. He chooses his own clothes and slicks down his own hair. He likes to wear belts, tucked in shirts, bow ties and vests. He loves an opportunity to put on a business suit, tuxes are even better. If I need assistance, he’s the first one to volunteer. We sometimes joke he was born an old man. (He considers that a compliment.)

I wouldn’t have talked with my other kids about starting a business at age 7, but he’s interested in it, has skills and an unusual sense of responsibility for his age.

He begged me to let him start working last summer as a recent first grade graduate and I held him back. I wanted to make sure he had the attention span and maturity level necessary to follow through on the job. I’m not sure he’s quite there, but we are going to try a few clients over winter break to get him some experience PLUS some before and after pictures and customer reviews for his website.  I plan to be his personal assistant until I’m sure he is ready to fly on his own.

I’ve been spending time talking to him about the steps he will take when he starts a new job, how he will respond if someone shows an emotional response to cleaning up or letting things go, and the importance of sticking with a job and working hard especially when someone is paying you.   He’s also thinking about simple systems and checklists to leave behind, so the parent and child can work together to keep the child accountable on keeping his room tidy.

He plans to work in 2 hour increments 2-3 days a week and has a list of items he can up-sell such as a virtual room redesign with shopping and work lists and subscription for weekly inspections and treat delivery .  He is also planning ahead to be able to hire people to work for him so he can take on even more clients and launch an online training program so other kids can start satellite businesses in their own areas.

Here’s his interview:

This is day 7 of our series 31 Days of Kids and Money

It’s “Getting Food on the Table” Month

By on

Getting food on the table month

Happy August!  It’s my birthday month and my husband’s too.  Plus our daughter, his mother, his sister, my grandfather, my aunt, our niece, and a cousin too.  Everyone shall eat cake!

It’s also the month that school starts.  3 of our kids start in 9 days.  Honestly, I’m not done with summer yet but que sera.

In light of all the crazy that is happening in homes across the nation Read more…