Are you excited about making better buying choices, but afraid what your family will say if you do?
One mother wrote me repentant that she had allowed her children to be accustomed to meals of pop tarts, fruit loops, chicken nuggets, and chips. She was afraid that making the right choices financially and healthfully would create mutiny among her tiny charges. What should she do?
I think taking the gentle but firm approach is appropriate. I would sit them down and first apologize like this, “Children, I have something I need to say sorry for. I love you very much and would never do something to hurt you on purpose. But I recently learned that I have been feeding you foods that won’t help you grow as strong and healthy as you should. Can you forgive me for buying unhealthy foods? pause for response The good news is that healthy foods will cost us less money so that we can provide better for you in other areas. We also get to start a new adventure trying out new healthy foods! I have made a snack for us to try that will help you grow big and strong. Let’s go try it together!”
If your children are very young, you might start a small “I tried a new food” chart. If they take a bite of something new (or something they didn’t used to like) at dinner or for a snack, they can put a sticker on the chart. Studies have shown that children need to be offered a food 12 times before tasting it on their own. Usually the first response is an aversion to the the fact that the food is new, not the food itself.
Some kid friendly snacks are: apples and peanut butter; fresh bread and jam; whole wheat cheese quesadillas (these are literally just 1/4 cup of shredded cheese inside a folded tortilla and microwaved for 20-30 seconds); frozen berry and yogurt smoothies; and unsweetened round cereal (like cherrios) on a string (we use dental floss and make necklaces or bracelets for a snack to go.)
What about our husbands? No matter how old we get, we still have a some of our child-likeness left. And if our husbands are used to certain “treats” around it might not go over well if they disappear over night. My husband loves things like Nutter-Butters, Pop-Tarts, Captain Crunch, Pizza Rolls, and Ice Cream. But we sat down together as 2 adults and talked about what our family would have to sacrifice to afford these items on a regular basis. He agreed it wasn’t worth it. When our budget allows he gets a small “food allowance” for his treats. He keeps them at work or in his car just for him. They aren’t around to tempt the kids, but he still gets his occasional treat. We are both happy.
What you decide to buy and not buy is a very personal decision. It’s great to have family dialogue about it and work together to find healthy solutions for your snack and quick meal needs. Tomorrow’s post will help with more quick but helathy food ideas!
I have one child that is open to anything I serve him. My other…uggghhh. If it doesn’t “look” right or has a strange texture, he won’t touch it. My husband thinks that every meal should be knock your socks off delicious. If it isn’t he will go out and purchse a second dinner. He is a major budget blower, and I cannot stop him.
I was wondering if you could post your weekly shopping list for the grocery store. some weeks I can get my down to about $70, the next week I spent $170. I just would like to have an comparison. Thanks:)
My husband had to give up things like that, for the most part, because after a lifetime of indulging himself, and blowing his budget to do it, and yes, going out for a different meal if the meal offered wasn’t blow-your-skirt-up-awesome, he has developed adult onset diabetes, and his lack of reasonable control over his food choices means he may have to have gastric bypass surgery to get the weight off before it kills him. He grew up eating rich, fattening food in huge portions, if he didn’t like it something else was offered, and never stopped to consider that this wasn’t healthy and he ought to change his habits.
It’s just food. It isn’t worth dying for.
My problem is portion control with my husband. He will eat enough food to feed three people. Lately I have started reminding him if he eats one serving he will have a good lunch for work the next day. It is frustrating to me because I can’t get him to understand. I don’t make huge extravagant meals but he will cook extra if he feels I didn’t fix “enough”.
Sadly, you cannot change another person or their eating habits, and frankly you shouldn’t have to take on the responsibility for what they put in their mouths unless they are your children. Not saying you won’t have to, but you SHOULDN’T have to. (though I should emphasize that! LOL!)
Gosh, I really sound like a grouch here and I promise I’m normally not! LOL! It’s just that men especially seem to have this mind set that they’ll be able to eat all they want, gorge themselves all their lives and it won’t affect them. If you want to know what health problems your husband is likely to have in the future, take a good look at his biological parents. Do you see heart disease, diabetes, gout, liver problems, kidney problems, joint and muscle problems…well that’s what you’re going to be nursing this man through the rest of his life. If that ain’t motivation to improve his meals, nothing is! There is nothing more pitiful than a sick man, and we all know it!
For the sake of any children you have, and for the sake of your spouse, at some point you have got to get mad enough to put your foot down and demand that everybody eats better. I’ve been married to mine long enough that no one else would put up with either of us, and he’d starve to death without me, so I simply boss him around! LOL! I put decent food in front of him, and I make his brown bag lunch and a hot breakfast nearly every day. Does he sneak junk? Oh, you bet he does, but I make him work for it!
Do yourselves and him a favor, and love him enough to get good and mad at him for his eating habits. If you cook, then you’re in charge of food. BE in charge.
Rant over!
My husband has a very sensitive palate. Yes, he CAN tell the difference between generic and his favorite brand without any other cues. He can tell if I deviate from the usual recipe. He has made great strides to eat whatever I make but it has taken over 15 years. He too loves his snacks and “daddy” food. I disagree with some of the advice given above. If I “made” him eat healthy or give up treats he would do just the opposite. I provide healthy meals and keep the house stocked with healthy food but that is where my responsibility ends. I can present the situation to him in love but if he chooses something other than my solution it is his responsibility as man of the house. It’s counter productive to hound him. It shows disrespect which is more damaging to a marriage and family than unhealthy food. My recourse and appeal are to my heavenly Father who is the only one able to change hearts anyway.
Amy, You are right. Our husbands our the head of the house and normally the bread winner. What to buy should be a join discussion between two adults.
We’ve done some financial counseling through our church and have found that if the husband is throwing a tantrum there may be a cause behind it. In one case, the husband refused to give up cable TV for the good of the family budget and it made his wife crazy! But she woudln’t give up her Starbucks or weekly manicure and spa visits and that seemed perfectly reasonable to her. They were both acting like children and accusing the other of being the problem.
Hi Angela,
I appreciate your blog so much. I have been applying all the tips you share on saving and stocking your pantry, but it seems I can not get our food bill down to $50 per person per month. We live in Southwest Florida, prices are generally higher here and no one offers double coupons. I also never see the rock bottom prices you talk about, even at WalMart. I would be very interested you sharing an average shopping list and monthly menu. I think that would help tremendously.
God Bless,
Natalie
Hi Natalie, I’ve found Wal-mart to be one of the higher places to shop because they rarely have food sales. They consider their prices every day low. There are only a few things I grab there just because I can’t find them other places (Jack Mackerel comes to mind.) I do my best shopping at Aldi, Costco (for only some things like dairy and frozen veggies), and the occasional sale price at the regular store. There aren’t good sales every week and sometimes for weeks at a time. But when I do see it, I stock up. This week I purchased breakfast sausage for $.79 a pkg (regularly $3), pork chops for $2 a lb, chicken tenders for $2 a lb, and cauliflower for $.89 a head. The rest of the food in the store was outrageously priced so I let them keep it. I have found that housing prices vary a lot from region to region, but food prices not so much. Food is high everywhere, but sales happen everywhere too.
I’m working on a $200 menu for a family of 4, but it will be a little while. When I can’t use sale prices and am limited to national chain stores, it’s harder–but still possible.
My husband and my kids eat what is available, there is no alternative. I cook and eat healthy and we also have treats, there is no missing out. That is one way of loving them, by being loving and caring enough to care about what they put in their mouths. I don’t want to lose a child to obesity related illness, I don’t want to be a widow because my husband won’t eat the healthyfood that I cook.
If my husband truly loves me he will respect me and my cooking, he will care enough about the family finances not to take himself off if he doesn’t like what is on offer. That is his way of loving me. There is a strong respect all ways in our family, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
For someone to be so selfish as to turn his nose up at what I have toiled to make and to be inconsiderate enough to eat somewhere else and for him to be a bad example to our children is something that I would not tolerate.
Respect is the key word here.
Angela, I have a 16 month old who goes to daycare. I provide all of his foods and snacks because they serve mostly junk food. So far I have been sending organic purchased cookies, crackers, or cheese for snacks. Sometimes I send raisins or applesauce. However, I feel that even these purchased snacks are not the best choice I could make – even though they are organic. Do you have any suggestions for snacks that can be put together ahead of time to send for him. The kicker is that he does not like fruit at all – but he does love veggies. I would really appreciate your ideas! Thanks!