Blogs: Friend or Foe? Blogging is popular these days. For most, it’s a fun type of virtual scrapbook. A way to record how the children are growing and family activities. For a few it turns into a full time business!
I love to read blogs and find it brings out the best and worst in myself. On the positive end it motivates me to try new things and opens up possibilities I never thought of. On the negative end, blog reading turns me into a self-critical; consumer driven; time wasting; ungrateful mess.
I see all their beautiful decorating, their amazing thrift store finds, and children activities and look around and feel pretty dissatisfied with my life. It’s almost as bad as the HGTV syndrome–where a crew completes an entire makeover in 24 hours and I think my husband and I should be able to do the same. Only to get it half torn up in the same amount of time to emerge dusty and tired, irritated with each other, and not sure what to do next.
As a blogger the same good and evil is present. I love looking back over the pictures of my children and trying new things. But lately I’ve spent too much time comparing my blog to others–the amazing ones I like to read–like The Nester or Centsational Girl. And to be honest the comparison has put me into a funk. These ladies are amazing! And my blog just isn’t in their league right now. (I know because I get about 100 spam comments per post and 3 or 4 real ones, lol.)
When I look at my blogroll list, there’s not a frugal living one on the list, unless it has to do with decorating. Part of the reason why, is I’m afraid of the competition. I just don’t have the self-confidence to face pure competition and smile. I’ve also noticed that my frugal blogging peers are often funnels for posting good deals. Sometimes it’s better not to know about something that’s on sale, so I won’t be tempted to buy something I don’t need–no matter how good a good deal it is.
To try to boost my blog into the same level as the ones I admire, I’ve been studying photography skills; new plugins; blog layouts; ways to go viral on pinterest etc. And it’s taking a lot of time. I bought a blog planner and spent January planning out my year of posts. I stopped enjoying blogging. I avoided it because I hated it, only to feel guilty about avoiding it in return. I wish I had a dollar for every time I thought about quitting altogether and just enjoy being a mother. Then I’d have enough money to retire, lol.
But I know myself. As much as I love being a mother and a good clean on my house, I love the social aspects of blogging and the self expression. Our family has grown used to the income from selling ebooks and the menu plan. Then, there’s the emails I get from women who say the books and menus have really helped them. I get one of those notes and feel a renewed interest in the business part of things. If I could just put my blinders on and not concern myself with page views; what my reader’s think or comparing myself to other bloggers and just enjoy. Then I’d have the perfect blend.
What I’m trying to say, is I have a new determination to live in the REAL. To spend time enjoying my family; to appreciate the talents of others without criticizing myself; to blog less often and when I do, to stay true to myself. To show more appreciation to my advertisers without worrying that I might annoy my readers. And to be okay with my amateur picture taking skills and even cell phone photos if that means more family time. I vow to conquer my fear of taking new steps in business. To not let the voice of the rare mean person overshadow the encouraging words of the majority.
You might not notice a difference in my blog at all, but I will. 🙂
Oh Angela!
It’s going to be so good to have YOU back. 🙂 I missed all of your helpful tips and videos. (My favorite is cutting a watermelon.) I love that your blog has never focused on deals. With four young children and one on the way, I don’t want to spend my time couponing. I’m not against couponing, I myself do not enjoy it. I do enjoy cooking from scratch, figuring out ways to save around the home.
I think you are beautiful and would love info on how you save with your wardrobe. (oh yeah! I have that ebook. Need to read again. 🙂 ) I haven’t commented much, since I’ve noticed your blog has had a different “feel”. Now I know why. You’ve done wonderful things and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us.
Hugs!!
April
April, Thank you for your feedback–so glad to find another mom that’s not “into” coupons. I’d love to do some more videos. I think about it a lot, but have a fear of the camera, lol. Time to just do it and get over the fear.
I love your blog! I have been with you around a year now. I want to encourage you to continue. When I first started getting your menus I think on week 6, I made one of your recipes & my 14 yo asked where I got it I told her from Angela my BFF, she rolled her eyes when I showed her you signed an e-mail message” friends”. She could not accept that someone famous called me friend. Now every time I make something of yours I make sure I tell her its from my BFF, our little inside joke. I do feel like you are a friend and would be very sad if you stopped blogging. You have inspired me so much, from cooking to sewing! If you quit I will just have to stalk you on pinterest for ideas I guess. LOL! Thanks for all you do!
Candace, of course we’re friends. (But I’m not famous–ask anyone at the grocery store if they’ve heard of Angela Coffan. When they say no, ask “Nicole Kidman?” Then you’ll know I’m just the girl next door and if we were at the same party, we’d talk and talk :).
Well said.
How refreshing! I really appreciate your honesty and sweet way of expressing yourself. ♥ You are an inspiration 🙂
I do appreciate the work you do with the menu planning and I enjoy your blog posts as well. Keep up the good work, you’re a blessing to many!!
Thank you, Kristen. That means a lot.
Comments need a like button. “Like” 🙂
Angela,
I’ve been following you and your newsletter for about the past 2 years now I think. And I really appreciate the lessons you’ve learned in saving money and how you are able to share those with us. I have told countless people about you as I have appreciated those lessons. And I did want to add that I enjoy the pictures that you post of things you’ve done, such as reorganizing your kids closets much more than the pictures that are professionally done. Your kids closets are real to me, the professionally done photos are good for ideas, but they don’t make me feel like I might be able to pull that off.
Anyway, thank you for sharing yourself with others.
Angela, you’re post just demonstrates how dangerous it is for us to compare ourselves to others – for one thing, we rarely have a realistic view of our impact on others, good or bad. I don’t think I have ever commented before, but your posts have meant a lot to me, and I greatly admire you and what you’ve been able to accomplish. For every comment you get that is not spam, there are probably hundreds of readers who appreciate what you are doing, but never say anything. And you’re right – your family has to come first, and you have to stay real. It’s not worth it otherwise, and that’s the only way you will be a true encouragement to others.
Dawn, I think that’s true. We never really know what impact we have until they show up at our funeral, lol. Thank you for taking the time to write. I hope you will again 🙂
Well I for one read your blog faithfully and would miss it if it went away! Sure, I read The Nester & Centsational Girl, and love them for wonderful inspiration. But I do very much enjoy reading a blog written by a mom living a similar life to mine. :). I’m a mom of six married to a pastor who loves cooking & making a welcoming home for her family but is on a tight budget. Don’t grow weary in your well-doing! (Gal 6:9). You ARE an encouragement to me and many readers. 🙂
Thank you, Christy. How fun to have another reader with 6. It’s so much fun to have a houseful! Thank you for your encouragement.
I’m a 2nd grade teacher who just recently retired from teaching. I was interested in your blog/ideas after watching you on the 700 Club. I am a very “self-critical” person so I know what it is like to spend too much time comparing my efforts/talents to others. Through my years of teaching, I have picked up on negative impressions young children already have of themselves. It’s amazing to watch how their perception of themselves in contrast to others is already in place. These are impressions completely unwarranted as viewed by me their teacher. Truly smart, attractive, kind students will tell me how they are “not pretty, not smart, not liked” etc…. Somehow they have already been affected by someone else’s perception of them. In my view, that perception is not the truth. What this has taught me is that you have to guard yourself from getting a wrong view of who you really are and how God made you. You know yourself – stick with what works best for you and your family – and don’t push yourself to measure up to someone else’s standard.
Angela,
I came across your family years and years ago (can’t believe how long it’s been now! Seven years, I think?) when I found your sewing pattern for the baby sling. I fell in love with your family, loved your grocery shrink system, and have loved feeling like an old friend even though I’ve never met you (and sorry to say, hardly ever comment!). I am not a blogger, and can’t imagine the hard work that entails. But I am a homeschooling mom, and your grocery shrink pantry has made my world a different place. I still use your methods, still stock up during sales, still have a book of recipes that I know work for my family and have pantry ingredients at hand. You have been such a great mentor. I love that you are real. Thanks for putting yourself out there and inspiring us with all your good ideas and creativeness. God has used you!
Please keep blogging… 🙂
I’m a faithful reader; I enjoy your blogs. Please don’t stop writing them. I have been inspired by your commitment to saving. You give us all hope.
I agree that comments need a like button. I wonder if that means I spend too much time on Facebook. I tried using coupons but I just got frustrated and it took way too much time. I appreciate all your time and talent put into your blog and menus and think you are doing a great job. It’s amazing you do all you do with a growing family to take care of. Keep focused on the goals you feel inspired to strive for and don’t compare yourself to others but be all you can be. God created you to be you!
Angela thank you for your honesty. I have followed you for a long time and so appreciate your advice that you give. It always comes with a dose of realizm that keeps me from feeling competitive but more like your a girlfriend who cares to spend time sharing her tips. I have never commented on any blog before or spent time blogging myself but after this post of yours I just had to let you know that you have been a real inspieation to me. You have helped me right after my third child was born and I felt so over whelmed but your menues gave me inspiration to care for my family. Your post always incourage and make me laugh….but I always feel I can continue with my mess, my kids, my home in my way. This is the first article I have read that so completely conveys why I don’t blog (or read many anymore) but I just hope you read from my words the good you have done in my life and I so appreciate your perspective on life.
Angela,
I don’t often comment, but I love every aspect of your site. I have copied recipes, looked at how amazing you are doing faux leather floors and all the sewing you do.
You are a wonder and a beautiful lady. You have a gift for helping others to see where and how they can be more frugal, how they can change their lives and how as women we can be more than we think we can and still be the helpmeets and companions our husbands need, and better mothers and grandmothers. May God richly bless you as you continue to reach out. Thank you.
I have been following your blog for over a year and while my circumstances don’t really make it so I can use your menus etc…I have a folder dedicated to you in my email when the day comes that I want ideas and so on your blog will be my first stop. 🙂
You are amazing! I love your blog! I used to blog and read a whole list of blogs EVERY SINGLE DAY. and I got so burned out and was feeling really crappy about not doing all the things I wanted to do and probably would never get to do. I was feeling like a failure at the competition. April will be TWO YEARS since I’ve blogged and stopped reading (except yours of course! lol!) (I have saved my email subscription to yours so it comes to me, rather than me clicking to you.) Anyway, I love NOT blogging! It was SUPER hard to quit and I thought it would be really tough when I had good relationships in blogland (is that possible?!) I had been reading daily about people and families I “loved” for years. I felt guilty stopping! and when I didn’t post, it was some “friends” who I’d never even met who were the ones asking if everything was okay – not even my own “real life” friends and family. Anyway, it was funny. But I like it now. So I totally appreciate where you’re coming from. Despite how you’re feeling, you have NEVER given off a negative – I think this is what draws me to you and your blog. Your simple, non-competitive, always friendly style is what I love. I’m sorry about the few comments and the mass spam 🙁 ugh. Just tell yourself that you have excellent readers/followers but lazy commenters 🙂 Everything is thinking good things, they’re just not telling you. and you REALLY have changed lives!!! You SHOULD print out all the great things people tell you and use them to decorate your office 🙂 Even though I quite blogging, I don’t think YOU should. So don’t do what I did 😉 Happy Saturday!!! xo
Just found a couple typos bc I didn’t proofread til I hit send 😉
I meant you’ve never had a negative TONE (left out tone)
and
*EveryONE is thinking good things – not everything
🙂
Angela,
Your blog is like a breath of fresh air. There’s really no need to compare yourself to anyone else. You share your unique perspective and that has value. You are first and foremost and wife and mom, and then you blog around that. Perfect! I’m so glad that you will remain true to yourself. 🙂
I don’t often comment, but I love your blog!
I’ve visited the sites you mentioned, along with others via Pinterest. The sites I go on are usually just a click & I’m gone. Don’t get me wrong, they are great for a quick tip or two but for the real deal & for true inspiration, I turn to blogs like yours.
Our family is on the road to being debt free & although we are just two years away from our goal, it feels more like a marathon than a walk in the park. I have re-read your debt story many times & it continues to inspire my husband and I to continue.
Don’t get me wrong- other blogs are fine. Annnnd, for example, I guess it’s good to know that I could make curtains from drop cloths… but our budget is tight & there is simply no room for drop cloths or cute metal buckets from Hobby Lobby or much else that is not absolutely essential. To be honest, I find most of my ‘decor’ at the local thrift stores & I set my allowance for such excursions at $5- woot!
I am not complaining, I am encouraged… by you. I am not suffering, I am sacrificing with purpose… like you and others like you have done before me. Just wanted to say that I appreciate a blog that gets me- keep on keeping on! 🙂
I read throught the first few comments and then skimmed…but I have to agree! I LOVE your blog/posts/pinterest pins/ meal planning…evrything I have been following you for about 4 years I think and I just have to say you have been a HUGE blessing! From getting encouraged to get fit (FYM) to meal planning/frugal cleaning. Everything. You have so much knowlegde and I love absorbing some of it! My hubby and I are on a 7 year debt free plan which I hope to decrease to 5 eyars… much inspiration comes from you! So happy you are finding your way and am SO SO SOOOO happy you are not quitting! I love all the pics (even the cellphone ones) They are REAL and I love it!!
I have to agree with everyone in saying don’t quit! I was just rereading your success story with my husband the other day. We keep quoting the it was 60 degrees in the living room and 40 in the bedrooms, because that’s how our house is right now! I just keep telling everyone to put on more layers… although I turn on a space heater for the baby’s naps and bedtime! Definitely stay true to you when you blog, you’re the only you 🙂 And competition is just silly. I’m a blogger too, and your story is different than mine… everyone’s story is different. I spend too much time alone with my kids to be looking for anything but friends online haha!
I love your blog! You do have a ton of knowledge, but you also share it with such a humble heart and joyful smile! I doubt any of us will see a change at all 🙂
Angela, I just want you to know that although I rarely, if ever, leave any comments, I enjoy your blog (and past emails), and get useful information. I only read one other blog regularly (CakeWrecks), but your blog is my home page. Thanks for doing as much as you do, but please give your family the best and the most. The world is a better place because of your efforts both at home and online!
Angela, I have always been nervous to blog for the reasons you have stated. But now I feel encouraged to jump in an participate in the lives of my online friends 🙂 Thanks for your blog!
You are doing a great job! Life is too short and time with important people and
eternal purposes are too precious for us to get sidetracked by all the details.
Although we have to give ample time to these things like cooking decorating
health beauty etc. they are not our identity. I know you already know these
things however I just want to encourage you, this is a less is more time period
of your life. (Maybe our whole lives are like that!?) I haven’t read alot of emails
lately so today I am catching up, and I also saw your haircut. I love that style
and it looks great on you!! Anyway, I wish the Lord’s best for you and your family!!!
P.S. I struggle with the same things you do!!