I try not to worry about my kids. With a God this big, why should I worry or fear? But I do, even when I pray and I think I’m not going to. We’ve done homeschooling, private Christian school, and public school. Last year I had 1 in private, 2 homeschooling, and 3 in public. This year we are transitioning everyone to public school and it’s a little heart wrenching for me.
Last week, my oldest boy, who homeschooled last year, who has been spending too much time in his room, wearing pajamas, and reading books, came out of his room early on Monday. Dressed. With shoes. He said, “Bye mom, I’m going for a bike ride.” I stared after him dumfounded.
Then Tuesday, he said, “Soccer tryouts at my new High School started yesterday, but it’s not too late to join. Can I go tonight?” My son has done little more than walk from his bed to the fridge in a year, partially because of his love of books, and partially because he has sore, swollen knees from Osgood Schlatters disease. I was happy he was out of his bed and interested in something. I found the medical forms he would need and we showed up.
I sat in the bleachers with one other mom. 52 kids and 2 moms. I had prepared 3 bottles for his practice: 1 with ice water, 1 with electrolytes, and 1 with recovery protein and glucose. I was terrified. How is a kid who lies around reading books all day going to handle high school soccer tryouts?
They did nothing but run for 2 hours. Greenies, 400 sprints, 800 sprints, more greenies, then more sprints. There was less than 60 seconds recovery time between each exercise. I thought he might throw up. I thought I might throw up. The other mom said, “this is exactly what they did yesterday.” I thought, “this coach is an idiot.” What happened to alternating active recovery days? He yelled at the boys, “If you think this is hard, don’t bother coming back tomorrow!” I yelled back, “You can do it, Caleb! Finish strong! I believe in you!” Every other boy on the field was either wishing their mom was there to cheer him on or really thankful that she wasn’t.
As soon as I got my boy home, I filled the bathtub with warm water, epsom salts and Blue Heat essential oil blend. I made another glucose protein shake. I iced his knees. I told him how proud I was.
He insisted on going back the next day.
The next day, his dad took him. I was singing special music at the testimony service for my brother’s priesthood call to elder. In our church no one can decide to join the priesthood. It’s not something you can earn, study for, or choose. The call comes through prophecy. It’s a big deal and kind of rare. While I sat and listened to the prophecy and confirmation testimonies I thought about my boy on the soccer field. Did his dad take protein and glucose and electrolytes? Would he cheer?
I beat them home and when he walked in the door, I knew things weren’t good. We had talked about worst case scenerios. If you don’t make the team, maybe they would let you come to practice and work out and get stronger. That night, Coach told him no to both.
The next morning the other mom in the bleachers sent me a text. “Cross Country meeting tonight.” Cross Country? If Caleb had sore knees, was this the best thing for him? But I asked him anyway. He said “maybe,” so we showed up. XC had started on Monday also, but would credit his running at soccer practice for the missed sessions. There were no tryouts. If you want on the team, you’re on the team. The coach was amazing. “We cheer everybody on, even the other team. Grades are super important. We are family.” They explained that even though they work out for 2 hours a day 6 days a week, they have an alternating active recovery schedule. Finally, someone with common sense.
Caleb showed up Friday for his first practice, we left the house at 5:45 am. One coach rode his bike moving between the front of the pack and the rear so he could keep tabs on the kids and their health. The 2nd coach drove a car, so he could pick up the kids that were in trouble. Caleb ran for 2 hours and when I picked him up, he was smiling. He did a jig and said, “How can I have so much energy?” I asked him how he did. He said, “I wasn’t at the front of the pack, but I didn’t have to get in the car.” I asked him to tell me the name of 1 kid on his team, he told me 2. Then it hit me, Caleb will start this HUGE school with friends, adults he can trust, and self-respect.
At that moment, the room started to spin, my knees went weak, my vision closed in on itself. I had just earned myself a recovery day or three–all from worry, sigh.
How about you? Is your family making big changes this year with educating your kids? How do you feel about it?
Super happy ending. These ups and downs are so heart wrenching for all involved. Thank goodness for the mom who text you. I am always nervous about school. I am as nervous on the last day as the first day. Praying for you and your family.
Kristy, I’m glad I’m not the only one that gets nervous. Except that I’m sorry any of us have to feel this way. We just really love our kids and want the best possible things for them. I hope you have a fabulous school year!
Can I ask why you decided to move from private Christian school to public? I was a public school kid and wound up more prepared and more firm in my faith than those who went to private Christian schools when we were in college, so I have nothing against those. Other than the fact that everyone is telling us to avoid public schools in the city. But the test scores of our neighborhood schools are the same as those in nearby suburban schools. If you don’t mind sharing I just wondered what made your guys decide to switch to public schools?
Tracie: The teachers at the little private school were loving, skilled, and good friends. The school tuition was about half of what was is normal in our area and they give a break to large families. Pay for 3 the rest are free! Also, I had a part time teaching job that gave me a little bit of credit towards tuition. Even so, we were paying more than $500 a month in tuition and my teaching job was so intense that my real job that actually brings in money started to suffer. We went from making $3,000 a month to around $300 a month. There came a point when I could no longer write that tuition check and the debt started adding up. I found myself at the end of one year owing $1200 that I could not pay. I sold some furniture on craigslist and had a garage sale in order to make the tuition payment. All the while, we couldn’t afford to put up drywall in our bedroom and were eating on ridiculously low amounts each month. If we were going to enroll the next year, I needed $700 for enrollment fees, plus would have had to buy 35 pairs of shoes and some uniform pieces to comply with their regulations (they use the most expensive uniform company available.) It just wasn’t possible.
I pulled all my kids out the next year, except for the one who struggled the most. At my exit meeting the headmaster offered me a full time job or suggested I go around begging other families to help pay our way. I had a toddler at home that deserved my time and I won’t beg if there’s any other possible way. That was last year.
This past school year, I resigned my position, because I became miserable working there. The stress was affecting my health. I got the feeling that the school and the parents didn’t value the music program I was trying to build. They said really nice encouraging things to my face, but didn’t make sure their kids came to class and complained about our performance schedule. There was no funding ($150 a year for 40 students) or room for us to do our own fund raising which really tied my hands. Every idea I had to improve things was shot down. In the mean time, the kids that I had put into public school were thriving. I discovered there really were a lot more opportunities there and we met a lot of nice Christian families, so it seemed right to make the transition to everyone at school. Plus everyone being on the same break schedule and having bus service will be a big stress reducer for me.
Homeschooling is OK, but I found it did not build the kind of relationships with my kids that I wanted. We were at odds more often than I liked, because I was asking them to do hard (though age appropriate) things. As soon as they got to school, things improved. It was another adult now asking them to do the hard things and I got to come along side my child and be a support person.
Sounds like a case of “God closing a window to open a door” 🙂 Love it! My oldest is starting Kindergarten this year, and we are homeschooling. Lots of excitement and some nerves (on my part). I think he’s fairly oblivious 🙂
Justine, SO exciting for your family! I wish you a fabulous homeschooling year :).
Angela, I’m so happy for you and Caleb! I was on the cross country team when I was in high school and the way you described Caleb’s team is exactly how my team was. We were a huge family! I think this is very typical for cross country as a sport. I’m sure he will love it and you’ll get some opportunities for a workout as you run all over the course trying to cheer him on at different check points.
Good Luck!
Amanda, I’m so excited to hear this! I’m so thankful this kind of fell into our lap and is exactly what we needed. I could definitely use a workout too, lol! I get to help him train this weekend since he will miss the Saturday practice for a big Boyscout area wide campout. I think I’m going to have to take my bike though and just circle back and stay close to him. I don’t have the stamina he does for running…yet.
We have a big educational change this year too. I’ve been homeschooling my kids for the past 7 years. (My oldest daughter is 21 and in college, my younger daughter is 17 and a high school junior this year and my son, 14, will be in 9th grade). My 17 yo started taking online classes last year and she loves it. She is very focused and dedicated to her studies so it is working well for her. My son will be going to a small Catholic high school this year, the first time he’ll be in school since 1st grade. He just doesn’t take homeschooling seriously anymore and it has become too much of a fight every day. He’s nervous (and so am I!) but I think he is going to do great. I recently started working part time at a local theme park as a seamstress/costumer to help pay the tuition. I love my new job but I am going to miss homeschooling.
Jennifer, what an exciting change! My kids LOVED going to Christian school from homeschooling, at least at first. After awhile they forgot how miserable they were homeschooling and were thinking about sleeping in and wearing pajamas all day. Like that ever happened, lol. Your job sounds really fun too! I hope it’s a fabulous year for all of you.
Wait until a Cross Country meet!!! OMGosh they are so exciting!!! It’s a great sport my son started last year as a freshman. And when you bring snacks for the team…they LOVE it! Some even ask..”.Hey! Is your mom coming today?” LOL! Embarrassing for him as a freshman when a senior asks him if his mom is coming to practice or meets. I loved it! And they were so polite about it.
Tennis is in the spring and ALSO an inclusive sport that I highly suggest he try. Many of the same boys go out for both of these sports. Plus the XC in the fall is great training for the spring.
Hoping I see you at a Meet this fall!!!
My daughter is starting grade 1 in 3 weeks (public school) and she tells me she knows she is smart and will do well (yay for seof-esteem!) but that she still feels like she’s not ready for grade 1 because she’s not ready “to grow up yet”! How adorable! I have no worries about her doing amazing. But 2 years ago I was really stressed out about it. She was a shy and a bit socially ackward kid, often asking me “how do I make friends mommy?”, and it broke my heart. Then she made friends, and it all got better. We did not interfered, we trusted her to find her path. And we are trying hard to do the same for her little sister, who has more challenges at the moment and will maybe struggle more once in school…. it’s hard. Because you love them so much and you want to protect them from all harms and pain and sorrow. Sometimes your heart bleeds for them, but you know it’s your job to step back and trust the process. Being a parent can be so hard and rewarding at the same time!
Isabelle, I’m glad you’re kids are adjusting well. Parenting is hard! I’m glad kids are forgiving and resilient.
I think you will like having bus service! I have thought so much about homeschooling through the years but I truly think that it is not for our family. My son started high school this year and my daughter started middle school. So it has been a major transition year for us. My son has wrestled, ran XC, and played soccer in his middle school years. Now in high school he as decided he wants to play football. I hate it! The team has almost 150 players. We went to the parent meeting and all the parents talked about was getting together to tailgate and drink! Then I didn’t realize it was a requirement to pay an additional $30 for the Booster Club. The coach runs practice over by 45 minutes some nights and that is too long of a day after school and practice. My son is completely beat when he gets home. It leaves very little family time. Which is actually one of the main reasons I have wanted to homeschool. But I try to tell myself that whatever you choose for your child, they all will come with pros and cons. Like a lot of things in life. Good Luck to your son. The meets are very exciting and I usually would get tears in my eyes at the finish line ( yes, I am sappy!). I love your blog and God Bless You!
Hi Jenn! Yes, I agree there are pros and cons with every choice. Homeschooling does allow for more family time, because we got all our lessons (music, dance, sports) done during the day along with our school. There was no evening work. But the day time hours were CRAZY. I was fairly miserable and felt like a failure most of the time. The kids were right on track when they transitioned to school, but I paid a heavy price to get them there.
My son transitioned from being homeschooled exclusively through eighth grade to a HUGE public high school as a freshman. He didn’t do much his freshman year, but he made a couple of friends. He signed up to workout with the football team between freshman and sophomore years but was hit with a baseball at his parks and rec league baseball game and wound up with a fractured maxillary sinus. That ended any sports for over 2 months.
He decided to join a theater group with one of his friends last fall as a sophomore. It turns out he is talented. He can act. He can sing. He can dance. He auditioned for 2 musicals and got good parts in both.
He joined the diving team at school. The swim and dive team accepts anyone who wants to join, even kids who can’t swim! They are an encouraging bunch. It turns out he is talented in this way, too. He scored high enough to go to regional championships and state championships in his division.
He played volleyball at school, too. He played for the varsity team. He was ok at it. He decided he would rather concentrate on diving than split his time between sports.
He will be a junior in September. He is going back to school with a confidence he didn’t have before. He has friends inside of school and outside of it. I still worry, but not as much. (And diving isn’t nearly as scary to watch as it was when he first started in December!)
Wow, Christine! That’s awesome that he found talents in so many different areas.
We were in complete shock at our son’s first cross country meet. He was last coming in and struggling and then parents from other teams started cheering him on. Coming from years of baseball games with our older son, this was a phenomenon we had not experienced before. Even though it is a public school team, many of the students come from Christian families connected to a local seminary & Christian university and that value system is evident in so many ways. Cross country teams are families that reach beyond team jerseys. Our son is no longer running with the team, but the friendships remain. So try to rest easy, Momma. Regardless of what your son achieves on the course, he will come away from this experience with life long lessons in perseverance, great friends, and a true sense of what good sportsmanship looks like.
Misty, I love this!!! Thank you for sharing your story.
Wonderful!
Our youngest was home schooled for 7 and 8 grade. Last year he went part time public to see how it would go. It turned out really well. This year he is in a charter academy with college classes. I am so excited for him. He is nervous but I know he will do well. We had been looking for this and it just fell in our laps. Prayers are answered. I am happy for Caleb. I hope he has a great year.
We have similar stories Angela – AND yes, why oh why do we worry when the One who created the entire universe loves them so …. but, we do. My son is a freshman – first year of high school. When he was 4 he had cancer – a brain tumor. The surgery and treatment have left him many long-term side effects. So very thankful that he is 14 and remains cancer free, but still hard to watch as life is challenging for him. He loves, loves, loves basketball. Played when he was younger, but then tried out every year in middle school and never made it ….. heartbreaking even though I get it that he should make the team. First week of high school he comes home and tells us he wants to sign up for wrestling – it was a wee bit hard for me to keep a straight face :), but we went it. Everyone makes the team – coach is super nice. My son seems like he is really enjoying it ….. never saw this one coming, but pretty sure it is an answer to all the worry prayers I send out :). Prayers for our boys!!!
Mary Lee, what a beautiful story! And praise God for your son’s healing. I hope he has a great year.