…will determine the way the rest of the world sees him. I know him better than anyone else. If I say unflattering things about my husband, his reputation will suffer. My girl-friends will lose their respect for him. My mother will hold a grudge as a protective reflex for me. I will eventually forgive him, but the rest of the world won’t.
If I speak only kindness about my husband, and give him the benefit of doubt, I will grow in admiration and respect for him. The world will see the person, who knows him best, holds him in highest regard. I will free him to be his best self. I will encourage the parts of him that are the most noble. I will see him in his best light.
How I speak, influences how I feel. How I feel influences how I act. How I speak and act, influences everyone around me.
We are opposites in many ways. I get frustrated, so does he. The things that frustrate me, belong in the conversations I have with my Lord, the only One who loves him more than I do. The only One with the perfect ability to forgive. The only one with the power of the Holy Spirit to mold him into the man he needs to be. The man he really wants to be. If I nag him, I will bring rise to his pride, his natural reflex to defend himself. This will interfere with what God is trying to do in his life. If I do my nagging on my knees, I give God the opportunity to change both of us in the process.
My protector,
My Lover,
The father of my children, My provider,
My friend.
He deserves my highest regard, and distinction above all other persons. I purpose to guard my tongue.
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I’ve dedicated this month to encouraging us to love our husbands and our children. Two other bloggers are joining me by giving an inspiration for a frugal date night. Yesterday, Stacy posted her scavenger hunt date.
Today, I want to introduce you to Jenna from Rain On a Tin Roof. Jenna is gifted with decorating on a budget while making it look fab. If you like classy family-friendly style, furniture rescues, and a smattering of humor tossed in, you’re going to love her blog. She is posting today about how to make a romantic haven for an at home date night.
Beautiful and very well said! At my bridal shower, guests wrote words of advice for us on note cards. One of my favorites that has stuck with me said (paraphrasing), “Never speak anything but praise of your spouse to anyone.” Just as you have eloquently explained, this is so very important. As wives, we must lift up our husbands when speaking about them to others. It really is very important in our relationship with them.
Wise and beautiful words poured out from a loving Wife and Mama with a beautiful and wise soul to match. I to have been blessed with a wise, loving, caring, happy husband who can brighten my darkest day. I am so sad when I hear wives speak ill of their husbands just to seemingly fit in with the crowd. Your children are being set an example to live their married lived by as well. My eldest ‘baby’ is now 26 (time just flies!) and my husband and I were moved to tears recently when he added as an after thought on a text message to me, how privileged he was to have had two loving people bring him up and give him and his future wife an example to live their lives by. I thank God every day for my wonderful man.
This was wonderful, it will stick in my mind when my mouth wants to go but shouldn’t!!
This was beautiful to read & so true. Often our own hearts are changed when we ask God to change our husbands!
Thanks for posting this, love your photos and words of wisdom. I like the advice about talking to God about your frustrations because He loves your spouse more than you do. So true and He is the one who can change hearts and minds. It is so important to not speak disrespectfully to others about our husbands because we will forgive them but you can’t take back the ugly things said and it does affect the hearers in how they remember and relate to our husbands. We’ve been married 15 years and have good and bad times but God has been faithful to keep us together and work through the problems. Thanks for sharing!
AMEN!
This is so true; thanks for the reminder!
Just beautiful. “Thank you” doesn’t seem to be enough, but simply, that is what comes to mind. Thank you for sharing that wisdom, thank you for taking the time to write it down, thank you for reminding me not just what, but why it’s important. You made a difference in someone’s life today – that’s a pretty good day!
Monica, Thank you for your encouragement! Happy marriage to you 🙂
This is really good, Angela. and good timing for me. I have spent a lot of years bad-mouthing my husband because he hurt me and I wanted other people, who think he’s so great, to know he’s not perfect and I (selfishly) intentionally wanted people to dislike him the way I did.
Like you said, “I will eventually forgive him, but the rest of the world won’t.” I didn’t care about that because I wanted company in my misery! (I’m such a brat!!! 🙁 )
But guess what?!!? Nearly 16 years later, we’re working through it and I actually am starting to believe he is those things you listed (companion, provider, friend, etc.) He wasn’t those things for many many years but we are both coming around, and God changed us, and now I can speak highly of him, and be genuine, and am proud of him getting to bask in the kind, loving, productive words I say about him. I made some notes from this post and am going to use them in my Valentine’s Day card to him 😉 Thank you!
Kristine, I’m so thankful that you are finding happiness in your marriage and that you are committed to your husband and working it out. You’re humility makes it possible for God to mold you. It’s a good example for the rest of us.
I thought that is was another picture of your grandfather. 😀 Great post!
This is so very true!